A warm meal and a quiet night

KIADA we are all just fighting to survive a world, where 'i miss you' doesn't mean I'm coming back. His fingers lace through hers – a tether that she can hold onto, and she finds some small amount of relief in it even as she stares at her half eaten plate. It’s… Awkward to talk about, even more awkward to consistently think about, to dredge up those feelings. But he’s so incredibly understanding that she doesn’t know where that leaves her. She should be considered a monster, someone who couldn’t be trusted. But he trusts her, and that perhaps makes all the difference. He squeezes her hand, and she squeezes his back, finally sighing lightly as she closes her own eyes – missing the tear that slips from his eyes as she fights the burning in her own. It means so much to her, so incredibly much that it feels like just another thing she has to tack onto how to pay him back, even if he didn’t know or care about wanting it back. She has to, for this alone, if nothing else. He stumbles over his words and she doesn’t mind, finally deigning and biting back the glossiness in her eyes as she lifts her gaze to focus on him. And when he says he’s not special or magical, she can’t help the slight smile that crosses her face with it, some sort of humor hidden beneath the dark sharp turn of their conversation. “You are special, Chuy.” She admits quietly, flashing him a small weak smile. “Coherent sentences or not.” She gives his hand another squeeze, taking a shaky inhale before she reaches for her water with her free hand. “You’re special to me.” She admits a bit quieter, lifting the glass to her lips before setting it down and keeping her gaze on him a bit more intensely. “I haven’t done this in a long… Long time. But I want to try again… If you want that.” If you’ll have me? and 'I love you' doesn't mean I'll stay...