Jude
Though every small movement feels hard, the curl of his fingers around hers doesn't exhaust him the way every bite had. It's not an easy topic for either of them. Not just because of the uncertainty and inability to make promises that may never come true, but because neither of them exactly has experience with maternal figures - much less ones that go missing and then aren't present for your sudden aging.
The idea that his mother will need him is preposterous to Jude. Not only does it feel wrong because he still feels ten years old in relation to Maeve, but Jude has never felt like anybody needs him or relies upon him. Harper had ensured he never felt the weight of responsibility too young, but it has led to Jude only knowing the feeling of being wanted, not needed. Always the one being taken care of instead of doing the caring. Until Sohalia, he'd never even had a taste of it.
Instead of trying to put that to words - because he would surely fail - Jude closes his eyes and silently breathes in his best friend's scent. "Will you nap with me?" he whispers, vulnerable. Even using the word 'sleep' feels strangely presumptuous, easy to misunderstand. Maybe it's childish to use 'nap' instead, but what he's asking already feels nearly taboo despite how many times they've fallen asleep tangled together on accident.
The idea that his mother will need him is preposterous to Jude. Not only does it feel wrong because he still feels ten years old in relation to Maeve, but Jude has never felt like anybody needs him or relies upon him. Harper had ensured he never felt the weight of responsibility too young, but it has led to Jude only knowing the feeling of being wanted, not needed. Always the one being taken care of instead of doing the caring. Until Sohalia, he'd never even had a taste of it.
Instead of trying to put that to words - because he would surely fail - Jude closes his eyes and silently breathes in his best friend's scent. "Will you nap with me?" he whispers, vulnerable. Even using the word 'sleep' feels strangely presumptuous, easy to misunderstand. Maybe it's childish to use 'nap' instead, but what he's asking already feels nearly taboo despite how many times they've fallen asleep tangled together on accident.
stop trying to keep this alive
you're pointing at stars in the sky that already died
you're pointing at stars in the sky that already died
