Then it is a good thing I do not need breath to apologize like this, the fox said solemnly, though he appreciated her humor with the spark of hope that she had lit in his heart. He curled back into a ball, though this time it was without the wire-taut stress and aching tension. His body was warm beneath Amalia's touch, not fully relaxed even yet, but able now to rest a little and recover his strength while she sat with him. It should have been terrifying to trust someone so much; he should have run, fleet and desperate, from the entanglements such emotions could cause.
Less than a year ago he still would have.
But that had been before Sam had become both colleague and friend, reminding him how good it felt to be able to protect others. Before Rory had gentled and tamed his sharp-edged heart. Before Rexanna had helped him laugh and find the fun in life again. Before Edrei had reminded him of what it was to be young, and Caiside had shared memories of a world similar to Jigano's own, building a shared bond between them. Before Maea and Kiada, stoic Deimos and quiet Seiji, bright Killian and cheerful Ronin. Some, like Isla, had been lost to him... but all that he had gained from those he had met and come to live with on Caido made even the risk of such loss worth it.
It was the weight of that love that had brought him low, feeling the responsibility and the failure to live up to the expectations of those who depended on him. But now it was the support and strength of it that buoyed him up again as Amalia - dear Amalia, sister of his heart, who sang with him, taught him to bake, hugged him until he didn't shy away in surprise at the open affection, and now held his heart in her fiercely gentle hands - let him borrow her resilience and refused to let him make the mistake of thinking he was alone in holding up that blessing.
Less than a year ago he still would have.
But that had been before Sam had become both colleague and friend, reminding him how good it felt to be able to protect others. Before Rory had gentled and tamed his sharp-edged heart. Before Rexanna had helped him laugh and find the fun in life again. Before Edrei had reminded him of what it was to be young, and Caiside had shared memories of a world similar to Jigano's own, building a shared bond between them. Before Maea and Kiada, stoic Deimos and quiet Seiji, bright Killian and cheerful Ronin. Some, like Isla, had been lost to him... but all that he had gained from those he had met and come to live with on Caido made even the risk of such loss worth it.
It was the weight of that love that had brought him low, feeling the responsibility and the failure to live up to the expectations of those who depended on him. But now it was the support and strength of it that buoyed him up again as Amalia - dear Amalia, sister of his heart, who sang with him, taught him to bake, hugged him until he didn't shy away in surprise at the open affection, and now held his heart in her fiercely gentle hands - let him borrow her resilience and refused to let him make the mistake of thinking he was alone in holding up that blessing.
