When had he changed so much that seeking out another's touch was as much instinct as conscious desire? He, who had spent his adulthood keeping others at arm's length, who still treated hugs as awkward pleasantries he still stumbled through with anyone who wasn't Rory or Amalia. With Rory there was none of that self-conscious awkwardness; he curled against the blond hunter and was held close in a way that said without words that he belonged there, in Rory's arms, in Rory's home.
In Rory's heart.
The hand that had initially stroked his back when he had worn only fur did so now against skin that felt better bared to the other man than clothed. Fur or skin, both had required trust, but that trust had been chanced, been earned, and been nurtured until he could rely upon it even when he couldn't trust himself. And from that trust had grown love, a desire to protect... and a desire to be protected. To be allowed to be weak, to be allowed to seek and accept comfort. To be allowed to be worthy of those things, which all too often his guilt denied him, and tried to convince him that he did not deserve.
Rory had been teaching him, day by day and season by season, that he gave his guilt far too much power over himself. Sometimes it was easier to remember that than others. Tonight he had forgotten it for awhile, falling back into the pit he was still trying to climb out of. But once again Rory's hands reached for him, steadying him and helping him to find his footing and try again.
The kiss was a gift, one of the many moments of small intimacies that still could make his heart stutter with a combination of joy that he had found someone who loved him in return and awe that it wasn't all a beautiful dream, and he nuzzled against Rory's collarbone in return, nose and lips tracing unblemished skin and scarred with equal affection.
He wasn't alone.
A lesson his heart might know, but his head still struggled with. He slid his hand up to slip his fingers through blond tresses, feeling their silk and the heat of Rory's skin against him, and wondering anew that he had somehow earned the love of such a man.
"Thank you," he whispered, breath ghosting over night-shadowed skin he had memorized every inch of as he pressed a gentle kiss to the dip between his lover's collarbones. "For not letting me be alone. For letting me love you. For saving me from the worst parts of myself."
In Rory's heart.
The hand that had initially stroked his back when he had worn only fur did so now against skin that felt better bared to the other man than clothed. Fur or skin, both had required trust, but that trust had been chanced, been earned, and been nurtured until he could rely upon it even when he couldn't trust himself. And from that trust had grown love, a desire to protect... and a desire to be protected. To be allowed to be weak, to be allowed to seek and accept comfort. To be allowed to be worthy of those things, which all too often his guilt denied him, and tried to convince him that he did not deserve.
Rory had been teaching him, day by day and season by season, that he gave his guilt far too much power over himself. Sometimes it was easier to remember that than others. Tonight he had forgotten it for awhile, falling back into the pit he was still trying to climb out of. But once again Rory's hands reached for him, steadying him and helping him to find his footing and try again.
The kiss was a gift, one of the many moments of small intimacies that still could make his heart stutter with a combination of joy that he had found someone who loved him in return and awe that it wasn't all a beautiful dream, and he nuzzled against Rory's collarbone in return, nose and lips tracing unblemished skin and scarred with equal affection.
He wasn't alone.
A lesson his heart might know, but his head still struggled with. He slid his hand up to slip his fingers through blond tresses, feeling their silk and the heat of Rory's skin against him, and wondering anew that he had somehow earned the love of such a man.
"Thank you," he whispered, breath ghosting over night-shadowed skin he had memorized every inch of as he pressed a gentle kiss to the dip between his lover's collarbones. "For not letting me be alone. For letting me love you. For saving me from the worst parts of myself."
