LOREN
Loren waved off Phoebe’s thanks. It seemed that he was the one who should be thanking her for not throwing him out of her infirmary—or blight raging too hard at him—considering how much of a buffoon he’d been earlier, and considering what he’d done to her best friend. ”Happy to help.” At her invitation, he sank gratefully into one of the many comfy chairs. Then, however, they swung back to the earlier, more confrontational conversation topics. Not particularly wanting to get her riled up again, he wisely kept his mouth shut. Besides, her mights and might nots weren’t doing much to convince him. ”Well, why change a losing strategy?” He grinned at her, though it softened into a smile. ”Third time’s the charm? I’m sorry.” There, that ought to do it.”Well, could have fooled me. To be honest, I think the whole speaking your mind and standing up for yourself is a good look for you. You can stand your ground without being confrontational, you know.” Perhaps the summoner wasn’t the best person to be giving that lesson (given, you know, who he was and his penchant for interpersonal conflict) but he knew it to be true, even if he didn’t practice it. However, when she began speaking about Remi, the Launcleyen’s easy smile faltered, to be replaced by the haunted look that usually accompanied him everywhere. ”I can’t...I can’t replace what he’s lost.” It was hard to say it out loud, even if he’d admitted it to himself long ago. ”But I’m going to try and get his memories back, at least. Somehow.” Even if he had to sacrifice his own in exchange. ”Don’t tell him, though. He’ll just try to stop me, and say it doesn’t bother him, but...it does. More than he is willing to admit, because he doesn’t ever accept help, just gives it, let alone let people return the goodness and kindness he puts out into the world.” Loren was probably saying way too much, but there were very few people he could speak to about any of this. Besides, he knew the healer would just tell him he was being an idiot. It wouldn’t be the first time, that he’d been dumb or that she’d implied as much.
As she started putting on the kettle, he eyed it warily. Idly, he wondered if she was going to try and give him that sandwich she had threatened. ”Sometimes it seems nothing in life worth having is easy. But...I don’t know. It might make you happier to just do what you want, instead of what you think other people want you to do or want from you.” It was funny that he’d only learned that after most of the people who wanted things from him were dead or gone. Then again, loss had a funny way of clarifying everything.
A beggar's book
outworths
a noble's blood
