least and last

PETER

Lorena reaction to his words, the gentle look and tone, the reassurance, confused Peter. He hadn’t said anything wrong, anything worrying, at least he didn’t think so. But he’d managed to make the other man pause, take a moment for an aside. Zariah hadn’t hurt him, hadn’t done anything more than ordered him around, but Peter had asked for that. Wanted and needed the focus, the order in his life. He wanted to say something to that effect, defend the woman who had, despite everything, taken him in, but... it wasn’t worth the stress it would cause. So he blinked, then nodded mutely, his tight lips curling up in the idea of a smile.

Perhaps there was still something Peter didn’t understand about families. As far as he had thought, you needed to earn your place, it wasn’t simply given, but what Loren said didn’t match up with that idea. He wasn’t given long to puzzle it over though, the story moving on, back to the oath, to the royals. His mouth opened, another question on his lips, then closed, Peter not wanting to interrupt again, not quite so soon. Besides, it was a question he already almost knew the answer to. Better to live and grow under a thumb than not live at all.

”A war?” Peter echoed softly, blue eyes now focused intently on Loren again. It wasn’t a question, badly a comment, just an acknowledgement of familiarity. Peter licked his lips, wincing when his tongue brushed over the wound he did opened earlier, and considered his next words carefully. ”Terrible... like, words, or... or scars?” There was a better way to say what he meant, but speaking it out loud brushed to close to a terror in his own memories, brought it too closely to the surface. He was already affected just talking about it like this, his hands worrying together as if his fingers ached to brush over each individual scar, as of the motion would bring him peace.

And oh, don’t you wanna love?
And don’t you wanna feel?
I remember, you were reckless, you were hungry
You were real