Amalia
the shield of safrin
Gentle hands raise up to caress the locks of his hair, stroking, soft, her fingers soft as she eases the long strands into some semblance of order. He does not speak immediately, and she lets the silence last as long as he needs. How much it hurts to wonder what happened, to see the aftermath but not the evidence. There are no bodies left when LongNight ends, nobody to bury, no answers to be had. The sun rises cold on the morning after the longest night, and the ones who remains are the real ghosts.A part of them dies each year.
"It wasn't different." Her voice is low, a straightforward murmur, but the strain of it is palpable, tight and tense as the words leave her throat. "Remi and I... we went out. We tried to protect people. And there were still so many deaths. Caiside. A boy named Cera. Roana." She leans her head back against the wood, feeling her hair catch in the grain and knowing it will hurt to pull away and grateful for the promise of pain.
It reminds her that she is alive.
Black eyes flutter closed; she sighs, a long exhale of pain and failure, the darkness of the past week curling in the steam around her face. She remembers the day after another LongNight, when it was she who ran home and found it empty, an unbelievable disappearance in the silence that prevailed. She remembers falling to her knees in denial, sobbing, screaming, searching for the lost.
She remembers feeling terribly alone in the days and months and years that followed, and she does not want that for him.
"I can stay with you as long as you need. And when you're ready, we can look for her. Or... or light a lantern. Whatever you want." She knows she cannot be Karlia, cannot be the sister he lost and needs. But she can still give him all he has, the way he did for her. She can be strong for him today, and maybe, for now, it will be enough.
someday we'll find what we're looking for
or maybe not
maybe we'll find something much greater
