All Peter did was blink at Loren as he listed off his magic, trying to keep his face straight, and not let the quiet jealousy he felt show on it. He wasn’t competing with Loren, that wasn’t what this was about. Just... old habits died hard, and he couldn’t help but feel a little useless in the face of the summoners power.
Being healed might be nice though, as strange and twisted as it made his stomach feel. It was hard to tell if Peters trepidation came from the aforementioned jealousy though, or the idea of Loren touching him, and being calm about it. There was one thing he knew for sure, and it left his mouth before anything else. ”I-I don’t think I wanna... get rid of... of any scars. Um... not yet.” Then, he took a deep breath, and held out a shaking hand, his eyes locked not on Loren’s face, but his hands, watching for the movement so he could brace himself, keep from flinching at the touch if and when the other man took his hand.
A thin smile spread across Peters face in response to Loren’s words, forced and wooden. The matching laugh was the same, an uncomfortable sound forced out just to make it seem a bit more normal. ”You don’t have to.” He said softly, but Loren was already jumping into it feet first. His eyes widened, and the sour look on his face grew more interested, more genuine. It sounded so scandalous. He did try to be a little tactful though, and simply nodded, trying to keep from embarrassing the other man more than he already was. ”It... sounds like you... had fun?” The words were tentative, the very edge of humour in his voice, but... he wasn’t sure they were actually close enough for it.
There was no judgement on Peters face, though he did suddenly feel a little bit silly for all his worry talking about his own relationships. His love (lust?) life seemed comparatively tame. It was actually kind of relieving, pressure coming off his shoulders. ”I guess... I guess I just didn’t think you’d... want to hear about it?” Peter offers, knowing it’s not quite the whole truth. He bites his lip, a flash of guilt cutting through him, and takes a deep breath. ”We are happy. But it’s... it’s scary to tell? I wasn’t allowed to um... to do stuff like it before, and... Zariah said I could but... wasn’t happy.” He leans in after looking around, as if there’s anyone nearby who could be listening in on the conversation. ”I was... she set up a marriage.” Well, maybe the two events weren’t directly connected, but they had happened so close it was difficult to not be suspicious.
It doesn’t take long for the repetitive act of seed planting was easy enough for Peter to do it without looking, instead keeping his eyes ahead on the other man. A soft noise of disbelief escaped him at the thought of Loren as a farmer, though he did seem to know what he was doing with this at least. Maybe it wasn’t as far fetched as it seemed. But at the mention of his old home being desolate, Peter just looked confused. ”It was just... normal. I knew um... there was green in the north, and... across the ocean, just... not where I was.” He shrugged, it was hardly the most desolate part of his life.
Of course, Peter should have expected Loren to take advantage of the open door. ”I don’t mind you asking.” Peter said quietly, then fell quiet. Honestly, Loren was the first one to actually ask, and it was only because of that fact that Peter wanted to be truthful. Well, that and the fact that the other man had already offered up so much of himself. He was owed at least a little bit of who Peter used to be. ”It was... hard. Before here. I... worked,“ the way Peter said worked implied that it was not the word he wanted to use, simply the most sterile one he could think of, ”for a man who um... fought the uh... the leader of the city, and... and province. I did... whatever he need , I guess. And... before that there was Ro-Ro... Rock... another man. Who I... who I worked for.” He said worked the same way as before, a tremble in his voice. ”Theres a bit in the middle, um... between them? That I don’t... don’t really remember. But it’s when my uh... my magic started.” At some point during his limp through memories, Peter had stopped walking, his eyes very distant. He would answer more questions, of Loren wanted details, but that was the most he was willing to offer up without more prompting.
PETER
I always thought I might be bad
Now I'm sure that it's true
'cause I think you're so good
And I'm nothing like you
Now I'm sure that it's true
'cause I think you're so good
And I'm nothing like you
