His throat burned as he continued to struggle, spine arching as his body tried and failed to twist free. To shrink, to grow, to find freedom in feathers or scales. He failed and failed again, with the names of his friends echoing in his mind.
Amalia, dear to him as a sister, the one he loved so fiercely that he wounded her without meaning to.
Kiada, young and proud and brave as a lion, becoming something even stronger and more amazing every day.
Melita, child of the sun and summer just as Rory was, bright and full of mischief, who made him smile even as he cherished their friendship.
To save one he held close in his heart, who had held him before when he had fallen apart and helped him find his way again? Or to save two he held great affection for, innocent souls who brought brightness to his life and who he wanted so desperately to protect and earn their respect? Always before he had chosen the good of the many over the good of the few, choosing the world over his own heart, making of himself the martyr he wished to be...
But Caido had changed him, no matter how hard he had struggled against it, nor how often he fall back into bad old habits. The many might outweigh the few, but he loved Amalia, deeply and in spite of how he had failed her. He could not imagine Safrin harming her shield, no matter how angry she grew at him...
But he couldn't risk it. No matter the rightness of choosing to save two over one he couldn't abandon the baker who had never abandoned him.
Safrin had been right when she accused him of wanting to be a hero, spinning his stories to make him seem better than he was. He was no baker nor farmer, no. He was a villain in his own right, at best the lesser of two evils, and no matter how hard he tried to overcome that the taint of his previous choices would always be with him.
His struggles subsided as the name fell from his lips in a broken whisper:
"Amalia."
Amalia, dear to him as a sister, the one he loved so fiercely that he wounded her without meaning to.
Kiada, young and proud and brave as a lion, becoming something even stronger and more amazing every day.
Melita, child of the sun and summer just as Rory was, bright and full of mischief, who made him smile even as he cherished their friendship.
To save one he held close in his heart, who had held him before when he had fallen apart and helped him find his way again? Or to save two he held great affection for, innocent souls who brought brightness to his life and who he wanted so desperately to protect and earn their respect? Always before he had chosen the good of the many over the good of the few, choosing the world over his own heart, making of himself the martyr he wished to be...
But Caido had changed him, no matter how hard he had struggled against it, nor how often he fall back into bad old habits. The many might outweigh the few, but he loved Amalia, deeply and in spite of how he had failed her. He could not imagine Safrin harming her shield, no matter how angry she grew at him...
But he couldn't risk it. No matter the rightness of choosing to save two over one he couldn't abandon the baker who had never abandoned him.
Safrin had been right when she accused him of wanting to be a hero, spinning his stories to make him seem better than he was. He was no baker nor farmer, no. He was a villain in his own right, at best the lesser of two evils, and no matter how hard he tried to overcome that the taint of his previous choices would always be with him.
His struggles subsided as the name fell from his lips in a broken whisper:
"Amalia."
