Filthy Mess

Zariah sighed in exasperation, shaking her head. ”You have never understood, nor do I think you ever will. And if you did, I doubt you’d admit it.” she said dryly, an undertone of her exhaustion showing through. Loren was exhausting. He poked and prodded at every nerve then was surprised and taunting when she or anyone else snapped. Infinite patience he required but never did he give it himself. ”Sorry, you say? How convenient apologies are. They absolve one of guilt but the wound remains.” she said, almost contemplatively, glaring at the mud she chased away with bolts of electrified magic. She looked over at him at length with narrowed eyes. ”If you did so without pain, then why did you run away? Why did you constantly rely on how you were treated as a child as an excuse to cry injustice? You speak of me and my methods as though I am as cruel as Colbrande, yet I know you cannot look me in the eye with a straight face and say that I am. So obsessed with what suffering you have felt that you are blinded to the fact that I have changed.” she said through clenched teeth. Zariah was cruel at times. She was strict, exacting, merciless – but she was no Colbrande when it came to her own. By his standards she was soft. ”I am the head of the Launceleyns. I am to be ever vigilant for threats. Just because a threat to her clutchlings is unlikely, doesn’t mean a mother dragon forgets passed attacks or drops her guard for those that might come.” Again he circled back to the family methods, so obsessed with the means he could not see the ends. ”It was painful. The most painful thing I have ever endured.” she said, looking at him almost sternly. ”But it was on the field of battle that I learned the most important lesson it taught me – the meaning in the suffering we have been made to endure. There is no pain I can feel that is so blinding as that. There is no suffering that can shake me so deeply. The lesson you have failed to learn over and over because of your obsession with the minutiae, Loren, is that our family’s methods make us unbreakable.” she said, lips pursing, speaking calmly but pointedly. zariah If my strength intimidates you, I hope you realize that is a weakness of yours.