Better Than I

It was right. Of course it was, it was a god after all. Wasn’t it? Desmond wasn’t one to question his faith. This deity, Ludo, was the one in power here, and Desmond knew much better than to question the faith he had in the gods, especially when one had actually materialized in front of him. Regardless, it was right. There was another name. It was a name that haunted his dreams and made his heart swell. A name that opened his heart to begin with. A name that truly was haunting to think about, to even say because of the memories that crawled to the surface with the utterance. Was that so bad, though? Is that why Ludo was here? Did that have something to do with it, or was it just the off chance that the broken soul was actually privileged enough to be in the presence of one of those he worshipped? ”Forgive me, Ludo,” he whispered, bowing his head again when the god hovered above the shrine. ”I didn’t mean to disturb you. I only wanted to show my gratitude for the life I’ve been given, for the ability to serve the gods, to serve you.” That’s all he wanted to do. Desmond believed himself to be a worthless man. His mind and heart pained him daily. His soul felt heavy wherever he went, but he tried... Gods, he fucking tried every single day to make sure others didn’t experience that pain, didn’t suffer any more than was absolutely necessary. That’s why he learned. His touch was as gentle as it could be. His arms were open to any who needed. He was there at all times of the day when someone needed help. He just wanted to help people, for people to feel loved. And for him, the gods were involved in that. He wanted to show the gods that they were loved and appreciated, that he knew everything he was capable of in life was a gift that wouldn’t have been given to him without the gods granting it. Was that really so bad? He wiped his eyes, daring to give the smallest smile up at Ludo, but not standing from his place on the ground. ”I wouldn’t believe myself worthy of receiving an answer to my calls,” he said honestly. Who was he anyway? ”All I want is to serve you, and to help people. If you could tell me how to do that better, I would be forever grateful.” What else could he ask for? Nothing. Even the pain inside of him helped to drive him to help, so he wouldn’t wish it away. He just wished, hoped, prayed that Ludo would consider his request. His only wish was to serve. desmond Talk to the Moon, Heal the Soul