Where do I go from here?

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." Maea listened without commenting, only nodding occasionally to show she was paying attention. It was so strange to hear about these things, to know events had unfolded in impossible amounts of time, where she still felt like only a few days should fit. Her sense of time warred with the retelling of past events, until she found it hard to breathe and pale fingers tightened so hard around the water glass that she feared she might break it. "Perhaps it's just that no naturals feel up to the task," she heard herself say, in a voice that was oddly calm. "You Outlanders have previous experience with these things. Governing. All we have are traditions, and stories. But Wessex.... well. She's always been different." There was a shrug, a half smile, and slowly she managed to pry the fingers from the glass again. It was empty. No reason to hold onto it anymore. Like so many other things in her life. "I'm sorry you got hurt. Is... the Ascension part of how you got better?" Hesitating, she asked the question anyway. It was... something Maea hadn't thought possible. The Voice had showed her quite thoroughly what might happen if an Abandoned underwent the procedure... it had not been pretty. It horrified her that Rexanna had risked it, that the Voice had allowed it. Had the risks been properly explained beforehand? Maea wouldn't put it past the new god to omit details like those... Something Rex said did make her think about the farm again. To turn it into something else... "You know, I did talk to Vai about something similar before she said. "I offered the Infirmary a piece of the land to grow herbs and other such things. Nothing came of it then, but... perhaps they might be interested in taking over the whole thing? I could rent it out, perhaps, let them use it and get some of the harvest to barter for something else." She looked up at the queen, wanting to know what she thought of the idea. Who was in charge of the Infirmary now? Was Vai still around? Still alive? Who might she talk to... But she just shrugged off the notion of asking Jigano for more help. He was doing enough for her already, asking for more would just be greedy. He had enough on his plate to worry about, without adding her to it.