Where do I go from here?

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." It was definitely a drawback to the otherwise so flawless design the Voice had created. Maea tucked the little tidbit of information into the back of her mind, to recall later should it be necessary. She had similar problems with the sun, of course, but those were all because of her pale skin and white hair; she just didn't adapt to it, no matter how many hours she spent outside. Yet it wasn't life-changing, just inconvenient... and now that her eyes no longer failed her it was like having a bad knee or a dislike for rain. Smiling at the comet shooting through her miniature constellation, Maea kept up the game as they talked. It was a guilty pleasure, using the gift; her father had been stern about using it for anything but the most dire of circumstances, and Maea had followed the restrictions even after he passed. "I don't think they can," she said. "Ludo asked me once if I would be willing to give up my magic if I could... if I would change my nature. But though I said yes, it said it wasn't possible. The Voice too told me that our magic leave imprints on the soul, that not even she could remove." The little star droplets moved ever closer together on their path around the sun, joining one by one until the sun had a companion, a double made entirely of water. Maea thought of the secret she had shared with Jigano, of the nature of the woman sitting before her; the watery sun shifted form, became a butterfly that flitted casually around the room. "But even though even they can't change us, or remove the magic... Even if we live according to this nature of ours, they won't accept it. Us. Why? Because we supposedly don't need them as much as the others do, with the spark to help instead?" She wasn't sure she was going anywhere with this. It was only rhetorical questions, one Rexanna likely couldn't answer. Maea sighed, feeling tired. Better than before, indeed, but... still weary, as if she could sleep a year. As if she'd already slept for all that time, and just couldn't wake herself up properly again. I'm sorry for being so glum. Coming back... it's been rough. More than I expected."