HARPER
Phoebe is not the only one grieving today.
Harper had been living with her since his arrival, had grown close not only to her but to the boys as well. And though he is familiar with the grief and weight that comes with not being able to save someone, it is his first major loss since his arrival in Caido. He admits that, selfishly, he has not been there for Phoebe in her own grief. Too used to mourning alone, too worried about snapping on her, or showing her a side of himself he buries far beneath the surface. They rotate around each other like distant suns, keeping space between them at every interval.
So when he reads the notice about the wedding, Harper...doesn't know how to feel.
No, that's not quite right. He knows what he feels, but it is so intense of a myriad of emotions that he can scarcely parse them, even with the days before him preceding the wedding. Even now, arriving in the nicest clothes he has, Harper still feels like his head is awash in static. There is a lot going on, and he can't even bring himself to look at the supposed groom, his eyes only for Phoebe as he approaches her. There's another woman at her side, and he flashes her a sheepish look, hoping for a moment with the young bride. She can stay if she desires, but he steps closer almost meekly, completely at odds with his normal personality. Grief hangs around him like a shroud, and he reaches out to gently brush a hand against Phoebe's cheek, expression sad. "I won't say what you're doing is wrong, no matter how I feel about this, but...I'm here. I'll be here, and at home, if you need me. If he ever fails you. I'm sorry that I haven't been lately, when you needed me most." His throat closes a little, and he clears it awkwardly, withdrawing his touch and retreating a few steps, gaze dropping away from her. "You look beautiful. I hope this wedding is everything you want." It hurts too much to say much more, and he gives a chivalrous little bow before he turns and strides away, feeling like he has lost something that had been just beyond his fingertips. If only he had reached a little farther. Been a little faster. Just as he feels about the boys and their loss.
Harper had been living with her since his arrival, had grown close not only to her but to the boys as well. And though he is familiar with the grief and weight that comes with not being able to save someone, it is his first major loss since his arrival in Caido. He admits that, selfishly, he has not been there for Phoebe in her own grief. Too used to mourning alone, too worried about snapping on her, or showing her a side of himself he buries far beneath the surface. They rotate around each other like distant suns, keeping space between them at every interval.
So when he reads the notice about the wedding, Harper...doesn't know how to feel.
No, that's not quite right. He knows what he feels, but it is so intense of a myriad of emotions that he can scarcely parse them, even with the days before him preceding the wedding. Even now, arriving in the nicest clothes he has, Harper still feels like his head is awash in static. There is a lot going on, and he can't even bring himself to look at the supposed groom, his eyes only for Phoebe as he approaches her. There's another woman at her side, and he flashes her a sheepish look, hoping for a moment with the young bride. She can stay if she desires, but he steps closer almost meekly, completely at odds with his normal personality. Grief hangs around him like a shroud, and he reaches out to gently brush a hand against Phoebe's cheek, expression sad. "I won't say what you're doing is wrong, no matter how I feel about this, but...I'm here. I'll be here, and at home, if you need me. If he ever fails you. I'm sorry that I haven't been lately, when you needed me most." His throat closes a little, and he clears it awkwardly, withdrawing his touch and retreating a few steps, gaze dropping away from her. "You look beautiful. I hope this wedding is everything you want." It hurts too much to say much more, and he gives a chivalrous little bow before he turns and strides away, feeling like he has lost something that had been just beyond his fingertips. If only he had reached a little farther. Been a little faster. Just as he feels about the boys and their loss.
can you protect me from what i want?
the love i let in, it left me so lost
the love i let in, it left me so lost
