PHOEBE
Jata’s words were heard, but only just barely – a whispery echo on the wind in her imaginary Frey world of pink clouds, too-green grass, and silver ponds. It was Frey’s voice that truly cut through her vision, along with the way the deity so easily forced her face up. Her eyes fluttered open, panicked honeyed gaze upon Frey’s handsome face. But as soon as their breath washed over her face it all stopped – the racing heart, the wild thoughts, the spinning, the noise; it all went away. Gentle calm and clarity returned, tears slowing to a halt on her cheeks.
None of this means anything.
Suddenly it made sense, something clicking in the darkest recesses of her mind, where she dared not tread under most circumstances. All this worrying and wishing a dreaming – reaching for things she wanted and trying to make everything right and well and perfect – it didn’t matter. I didn’t matter. Not one bit of it. She could marry Jata today and be done with him tomorrow and what repercussions would there be? Maybe he would be upset? Maybe people would call her stupid or ridiculous? Why did she try so hard to keep everyone else happy when it always ended up with her getting the short end of the stick, stuck with sadness and guilt she didn’t need to carry. It didn’t matter if she was kind or mean. It didn’t matter if she married him or not.
A coldness was creeping into her soul and what warmth remained was held by Frey and Frey alone.
”Thank you, Frey.” she whispered softly, managing a small smile just for them, before looking back at Jata. ”I’m…sorry about that. Let’s go get this done.” she said quietly.
None of this means anything.
Suddenly it made sense, something clicking in the darkest recesses of her mind, where she dared not tread under most circumstances. All this worrying and wishing a dreaming – reaching for things she wanted and trying to make everything right and well and perfect – it didn’t matter. I didn’t matter. Not one bit of it. She could marry Jata today and be done with him tomorrow and what repercussions would there be? Maybe he would be upset? Maybe people would call her stupid or ridiculous? Why did she try so hard to keep everyone else happy when it always ended up with her getting the short end of the stick, stuck with sadness and guilt she didn’t need to carry. It didn’t matter if she was kind or mean. It didn’t matter if she married him or not.
A coldness was creeping into her soul and what warmth remained was held by Frey and Frey alone.
”Thank you, Frey.” she whispered softly, managing a small smile just for them, before looking back at Jata. ”I’m…sorry about that. Let’s go get this done.” she said quietly.
all i wanted was to be wanted
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
