You're so cold
but you feel alive
Her eyes narrowed, his insistence making a rare temper begin to flare. "I did tell you. I'd trade it away in an instant. I hate being what I am, I hate not having a choice. Unlike you, I am not content with just shrugging and swallowing it though. I hate what and who I am so I'm trying to change, and that is the whole point of this conversation."
She tossed the bucket back down the well, heard it rattle against the stone walls and land with a distant splash on the water below. Throwing an eye on the blazing fire, she found it had not made any attempts to spread, and returned a dark glare to Amun.
"I'm cleaning the farm because I want to sell it, and because I need something to live off of when it's no longer mine. I do it to put food in my belly and ensure I don't wear myself to the bone trying to make this business work, so that I don't kill myself by wearing down my health to nothing and die a bitter crone who can't even thank Vi for the life I was given. That I can make the most of. Not some universal accident that was infused with my soul without purpose or consideration."
Her tone was still even, but the pace was quickening, the words hardening as if she tried to bludgeon him with them rather than just answer. Wrapping the stifling hot shawl tighter about her shoulders, Maea forced down a breath of air.
"You're the one who told me to ask questions, who can't seem to accept that I'm not comfortable around you. Since I'm already trying to alter my circumstances, I'm obliging you. Because, who knows, maybe understanding something about your kind will help me survive one day.
"But if you've changed your mind we can stop any time. Just say the word, and I can get back to work."
She tossed the bucket back down the well, heard it rattle against the stone walls and land with a distant splash on the water below. Throwing an eye on the blazing fire, she found it had not made any attempts to spread, and returned a dark glare to Amun.
"I'm cleaning the farm because I want to sell it, and because I need something to live off of when it's no longer mine. I do it to put food in my belly and ensure I don't wear myself to the bone trying to make this business work, so that I don't kill myself by wearing down my health to nothing and die a bitter crone who can't even thank Vi for the life I was given. That I can make the most of. Not some universal accident that was infused with my soul without purpose or consideration."
Her tone was still even, but the pace was quickening, the words hardening as if she tried to bludgeon him with them rather than just answer. Wrapping the stifling hot shawl tighter about her shoulders, Maea forced down a breath of air.
"You're the one who told me to ask questions, who can't seem to accept that I'm not comfortable around you. Since I'm already trying to alter my circumstances, I'm obliging you. Because, who knows, maybe understanding something about your kind will help me survive one day.
"But if you've changed your mind we can stop any time. Just say the word, and I can get back to work."
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
