He gave her a crooked grin at her comment about going undercover. Deepest he had gone undercover… His mind searched rapidly through every single one of his jobs that he went undercover for, nodding slowly. She was right. He didn’t like it, either. Going undercover came remarkably easily for him, able to shed his face for another with such ease some might think he had more than one personality hiding beneath his skin. Maybe they were right.
Kalt watched her carefully, his gaze never wavering, part of him worrying that looking away from her for even a moment would give her the opportunity to slip away from him and disappear into the night, into the storm. She was good at that, at running and vanishing. Of course he was also good at finding her, but he didn’t want to tonight. They were sitting together, listening to the rain and the scattered claps of thunder chasing the lightning, talking like nothing had changed. Well, some things would have been different if nothing had changed, but he would take what he could get from her. He knew what pushing her too much in a fragile state would get, so he refused to do it.
’So you know everything then.’ It wasn’t a question, but her voice implied that she wanted confirmation. Still, he didn’t give it to her. Yes, he knew everything. He knew more than she probably thought he knew. He was there through it all, but she didn’t need to know that. She didn’t need to know the details of everything he had done for her behind the scenes. Someday, maybe. Now, when she was drunk and forcing loneliness on herself? No way. There was a lot he could tell her about what he did, what he saw, even things he did for her back in the Guild, but he didn’t want that on her. She already believed herself to a curse on anyone who cared about her, believed herself to be worthless. He would never pile anything heavy onto her like that.
Something about the way she spoke about taking Master down pressed hard on his chest. She didn’t plan on surviving Master’s death? Or did part of her not want to survive it, making her rationalize through planning? He gritted his teeth slightly at that thought.
He didn’t smirk at her when she did at him. He didn’t even blink at her change of subject to the stone beast. Yes, obviously he had heard about it. Half of the time he was in Northaven, he was living with a fucking stress migraine at her sheerly stupid way of charging into fights on her own, as though she didn’t have anyone who would have willingly followed her into a fight. Those around her might not have been the most competent, but they would have fought for her.
Kalt glanced at his cigar, tapping it lightly to get rid of the ash on the end of it. ”Ashe, we’re out,” he said quietly, giving her a gentle smile. ”We’re free of him, of that world.” He paused then, taking a long breath. ”But that doesn’t mean it’s over. I’ve accepted that my life will never be normal, that I’ll never have the ability to walk through the world without that voice in the back of my mind telling me something bad is gonna happen. I’ve learned to live with it, and you have to also. Just because we aren’t in the Guild anymore doesn’t mean the Guild isn’t in us.
”But you shouldn’t apologize for that. Ever. We dealt with shit that people never should have to, that people couldn't fucking imagine, but you know what? It made us who we are, made you who you are.” He would reach out and gently touch her cheek, thumb strumming over the scar he had given her above her lip with a flicker of a smile before withdrawing again. ”You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. Strong as fuck in mind, body, and soul, and I never want to see you doubting that again.”
He knew there would be doubts. Her doubting herself was inevitable, especially in the state she was in, but it was the point that he was trying to drive home. Kalt glanced down, putting out his cigar and resting it on the rafter behind his back to cool down.
Crystal blue eyes searched her softly. ”I’ve never left you alone, Ashe,” he said in a quiet voice, nearly drowned by the rain. ”Even when you thought you were… Never once before.” Kalt grinned at her, running his fingers through his hair with a breath. ”Definitely not now.”
Ashetta
kalt
give into the night.
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