OLIVER
The words that Harper speaks hurt him to his core. Oliver starts to frown and he leans forward ever so slightly, clearly concerned for the man. He wants to reach forward and hug him, to let him know that everything is okay and that while Harper may doubt himself, Oliver is still filled with mounds of hope. "Harper...everyone has made mistakes in their past... the man I have seen before me is one of the most incredible people I have had the honor of meeting. While I may barely know you, you still have made such an incredible impression of yourself. You don't need to let your past mistakes change who you are." Oliver struggles to find the right words to convey how he feels without letting too many of his feelings slip through. "Honestly? I'm far from perfect myself, but that doesn't stop me from trying to be the best I can... and I can tell that you do the same. You could've been so rude to me the first time we met, you could've used my kindness or done so many bad things... and you have been nothing but kind and just- absolutely incredible." His voice softens and he struggles to maintain eye contact, overwhelmed by the feeling of being so open with his emotions. His vulnerability is clear and Oliver isn't sure if he enjoys showing off such a large part of himself, seeing as the last few times he has done this: people have seemingly used his kindness and nativity for their own benefit.
"You can tell me about your past, if you want, but I can assure you: I will continue to appreciate you and view you as a friend and-" His voice trails off, stopping himself from speaking certain words. Words that should go unspoken until he knows for sure that it is safe to be blunt. That Harper wont find it to be disgusting or annoying or bad or that he is stupid for ever feeling such things. Oliver feared losing Harper just because of his stupid emotions that kept making him fall for men who spoke a lick of kindness or compliment towards him. "I will listen to you, Harper... and you can tell me all you want or as little as you want... but I can assure you that I will always be by your side. You have shown me that you are one of the most genuine people I have met since I arrived here, and I don't even know if I deserved to have that in my life." To be blessed with someone so genuine and kind, it feels wrong. That Oliver ripped this away from someone else. He doesn't deserve to be treated with so much respect when he hasn't even done anything to help anyone else.
Already Oliver has let slip too many of his emotions and it is embarrassing and simply...bad. No amount of sketching will hide that he's simply spoken far too much. Been far too open about how he feels. It's stupid and just...embarrassing. No wonder why Frey made fun of him, he's pathetic and disgusting and the worst thing to exist. If he could, he would ask for Frey to take away the possibility for him to fall for someone, to save him from these emotions.
His voice was soft, reflecting the internal thoughts that had now overwhelmed him. The regret for saying so much and being too vulnerable. Is this how Amun had grown to use him? "So far.... I have a rough sketch... it's not the greatest, but if you want to see it, you can. I don't want to keep you in that position since it doesn't look the most comfortable."
"You can tell me about your past, if you want, but I can assure you: I will continue to appreciate you and view you as a friend and-" His voice trails off, stopping himself from speaking certain words. Words that should go unspoken until he knows for sure that it is safe to be blunt. That Harper wont find it to be disgusting or annoying or bad or that he is stupid for ever feeling such things. Oliver feared losing Harper just because of his stupid emotions that kept making him fall for men who spoke a lick of kindness or compliment towards him. "I will listen to you, Harper... and you can tell me all you want or as little as you want... but I can assure you that I will always be by your side. You have shown me that you are one of the most genuine people I have met since I arrived here, and I don't even know if I deserved to have that in my life." To be blessed with someone so genuine and kind, it feels wrong. That Oliver ripped this away from someone else. He doesn't deserve to be treated with so much respect when he hasn't even done anything to help anyone else.
Already Oliver has let slip too many of his emotions and it is embarrassing and simply...bad. No amount of sketching will hide that he's simply spoken far too much. Been far too open about how he feels. It's stupid and just...embarrassing. No wonder why Frey made fun of him, he's pathetic and disgusting and the worst thing to exist. If he could, he would ask for Frey to take away the possibility for him to fall for someone, to save him from these emotions.
His voice was soft, reflecting the internal thoughts that had now overwhelmed him. The regret for saying so much and being too vulnerable. Is this how Amun had grown to use him? "So far.... I have a rough sketch... it's not the greatest, but if you want to see it, you can. I don't want to keep you in that position since it doesn't look the most comfortable."
I JUST WANT MY EXISTENCE
TO BE MORE THAN TREMBLING
TO BE MORE THAN TREMBLING
