and it's hard to dance with a devil on your back

Eyes still boring into Samuel's own, Loren lifted his arms to rest them on the table. "Why is that worrisome?" Astra curled up by his feet, trying to provide what comfort she could, but it failed to reach him. Instead, that blank look stayed on his face. "Support me how? Tell me it's normal to feel this way, that it's okay to grieve, that I'll feel better one day, that the pain will fade?" He shrugged almost imperceptibly. "Like I said, I've lost a lot of people. I've heard it all before." Leaning forward slightly, he dropped his voice to an exhausted whisper. "It never fades." The words weren't sad or pained, just softly spoken. He leaned back again at the redhead's offer to let the Launceleyn speak. "What is there to talk about? He's gone, and you didn't know him." There was no accusation there, just a statement of fact. Indeed, he didn't blame anyone for Abasi's death, or the few people who seemed to know or care about it, and their relationship. It was just what Loren's life was at this point. Tilting his head, he considered the other man for a long moment. "What makes you think the Remi you knew was the normal one? What even is normal?" There was little interest or curiosity behind the questions. LOREN Not quite an open book