I would rather be dead

it doesn't matter where you roam, when no one's left to call you home

Remi could smell the alcohol on Loren's breath and it made him wince. Once, his heart would have been a flutter to have Loren so close, so strangely vulnerable and nearly naked. Now, he was ever edging close to the hate-side of the line between love and hate.

"There it is again. Always someone else's fault. Tell me Loren, why is it just the many crimes in my mind. Last time I checked, they happened in the real world too." Remi returned, not bothering to match Loren's stage-whisper.

"Forgiveness was always easy for me, Loren." The alchemist replied, sea-glass eyes steadily meeting the blue of Loren's. "But then you just kept hurting and kept hurting, never taking responsibility for it because you said it was going to happen, as if knowledge of just how selfish you could be was somehow an excuse." At the idea of idealized though, Remi just laughed in Loren's face. "Loren I forgot you. There was nothing to idolize. The only stories I ever heard from you were from Ronin and Vai and Ianto and trust me, they did not paint you on a pedestal. I saw the good in you because stupidly, it's what I do."

Then, shaking his head he added, "..did."

i might have strained a bit too far, i'm countin' all the moonlit stars