Amalia
a certain darkness is needed to see the stars
✩
How far away the goddess feels, though they are seated merely feet apart. Amalia's fingers clench tightly over the wood of her bench, opening and closing along with her throat at Safrin's gentle chiding. Gentle, but of course both of them know that gentle is worse. That the quiet disappointment leaves a greater impression than the gales of wrath ever could.
She cannot meet her goddess' eyes. What has changed in her? Licking her tongue over her lips, the baker tries to school the thoughts that dance so clearly over her face. "I... I don't know," Amalia admits, closing her eyes in a wince at the inadequacy of the words. Another pause, another breath. "My life... everything used to be so clear. I worked in the library. I baked. I prayed to you, and to Vi, and the Old Ones. I thought I knew what I was supposed to do, and I did it, and it made sense."
Tilting her head back up to Safrin, Amalia searches in the goddess' face for a comfort she knows she does not deserve. "Now it feels like nothing makes sense. Like I don't know who I'm supposed to be anymore. I, I still try, but I fail so often." She looks back at her hands, now resting on the table. "And every time it hurts so much."
She cannot meet her goddess' eyes. What has changed in her? Licking her tongue over her lips, the baker tries to school the thoughts that dance so clearly over her face. "I... I don't know," Amalia admits, closing her eyes in a wince at the inadequacy of the words. Another pause, another breath. "My life... everything used to be so clear. I worked in the library. I baked. I prayed to you, and to Vi, and the Old Ones. I thought I knew what I was supposed to do, and I did it, and it made sense."
Tilting her head back up to Safrin, Amalia searches in the goddess' face for a comfort she knows she does not deserve. "Now it feels like nothing makes sense. Like I don't know who I'm supposed to be anymore. I, I still try, but I fail so often." She looks back at her hands, now resting on the table. "And every time it hurts so much."
