Maea
And I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain
But take the pain
"Ah, usually tradition indicate that there is a pattern of repeated events, right?" she tried to explain. "Most of my friends now are new, though. People I've only known for a year, and often even less. We've not established any traditions yet. So there is nothing to return to, for the comfort you spoke of." Only things to build, going ahead. Which... was a tiresome task. Always doing something new. Where nothing was familiar.
A deeper part of her found it curious that Delphia would find a wisp gentle, given their penchants for luring people astray. Or that a gentle companion would suit her, when Maea didn't feel very gentle at all herself. She too watched Shii drift on phantom winds around the demi-god, until it grew bored with the inspection and zipped away, off to explore elsewhere.
It was Maea's turn to listen then, and for once she had no counter arguments. Perhaps because there were no questions asked, or because it was too much to consider. Delphia made it sound so very simple, and in essence, it was. She wanted to let Sunjata stay who he was, to accept him for who and what he was. Good parts, bad parts, mistakes and flaws and everything that came with him. All the barriers, she realized, lay within herself. The desire to control, to change, to somehow fit him into a mold of her own expectations. 'Don't look at other people, love only me, be this and do that'... It came from a place of love and concern, as many of the things the man did seemed self-destructive from her perspective. But... perhaps it was just not her place to decide what was good for him. Perhaps the one who needed to look over her priorities... was Maea herself.
"He loved Lusea with everything he was," she said, trying to explain what she only understood by association. "He built his life on her, and all his future... and even though she is gone, he has yet to fully accept it, I think. He still sees her in his future... leaving room for no one else. Everything he's done, everyone he's been with since she died... he compares it to a bandaid, to cover up the wound. To not have to look at it." Including herself. Though... perhaps the fact that he still wanted her near was a sign that it wasn't all she was? Or maybe that was wishful thinking too.
As she settled herself down by the fire Delphia built, she tried to keep this all in mind. It was at the heart of her troubles after all, and this ritual was meant to help her release negativity. And perhaps it could help her relinquish preconceived notions of what happiness looked like, too?
"How do I call them?" she asked, crossing her legs under herself, to sit comfortably. Maea had never tried anything like this before. "Is it like praying?"
A deeper part of her found it curious that Delphia would find a wisp gentle, given their penchants for luring people astray. Or that a gentle companion would suit her, when Maea didn't feel very gentle at all herself. She too watched Shii drift on phantom winds around the demi-god, until it grew bored with the inspection and zipped away, off to explore elsewhere.
It was Maea's turn to listen then, and for once she had no counter arguments. Perhaps because there were no questions asked, or because it was too much to consider. Delphia made it sound so very simple, and in essence, it was. She wanted to let Sunjata stay who he was, to accept him for who and what he was. Good parts, bad parts, mistakes and flaws and everything that came with him. All the barriers, she realized, lay within herself. The desire to control, to change, to somehow fit him into a mold of her own expectations. 'Don't look at other people, love only me, be this and do that'... It came from a place of love and concern, as many of the things the man did seemed self-destructive from her perspective. But... perhaps it was just not her place to decide what was good for him. Perhaps the one who needed to look over her priorities... was Maea herself.
"He loved Lusea with everything he was," she said, trying to explain what she only understood by association. "He built his life on her, and all his future... and even though she is gone, he has yet to fully accept it, I think. He still sees her in his future... leaving room for no one else. Everything he's done, everyone he's been with since she died... he compares it to a bandaid, to cover up the wound. To not have to look at it." Including herself. Though... perhaps the fact that he still wanted her near was a sign that it wasn't all she was? Or maybe that was wishful thinking too.
As she settled herself down by the fire Delphia built, she tried to keep this all in mind. It was at the heart of her troubles after all, and this ritual was meant to help her release negativity. And perhaps it could help her relinquish preconceived notions of what happiness looked like, too?
"How do I call them?" she asked, crossing her legs under herself, to sit comfortably. Maea had never tried anything like this before. "Is it like praying?"
Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay
You choose to stay
