HARPER
It hurts all the more to see her withdraw, and he instinctively wants to do or say whatever he can to fix it. But he can't, not this time. It would be unfair to them both to jump into something that he knows he's not ready for. That he wonders if she is even ready for after all she has so recently been through. He knows how it important it is to be a solitary person, to learn to live on your own and be whole without a partner in your life. Harper isn't sure if she's had time to experience that yet, after Sunjata had hurt her, after he'd had to pull her back from the literal brink. It's not just his own heart that's fragile in this situation.
A wry, bitter laugh escapes him. "I've effectively died many times, I was just brought back by medical intervention. I've been wounded to the point of thinking there's no return. It can make you a bit dramatic, forgive me." The gravity of his words makes the pitiful attempt at a joke fall flat. He gently rubs her fingers, not wanting her to get the wrong idea - which based on her words she already has - and intent on soothing what hurt he can. It's hard when he's the one that caused it. "It has nothing to do with who you are, Phoebe. I want you to know that. I've never lied to you before and I wouldn't start now. This is...my own inadequacy." This? This is entirely on him. This is a weight that will rest forever on his shoulders. Not hers, not if he can help it. Again he squeezes her hands, the burn of tears behind his eyes something he tries hard to ignore as he gently lets their fingers part as she changes the subject.
"Are you sure you want to continue? If it bothers you to be close to me...let me know your boundaries, okay?" Oliver hadn't wanted Harper to hang around after he'd been turned down, and it had been a wound that he's not sure he can handle again. But if that's what she needs, he'll do it.
A wry, bitter laugh escapes him. "I've effectively died many times, I was just brought back by medical intervention. I've been wounded to the point of thinking there's no return. It can make you a bit dramatic, forgive me." The gravity of his words makes the pitiful attempt at a joke fall flat. He gently rubs her fingers, not wanting her to get the wrong idea - which based on her words she already has - and intent on soothing what hurt he can. It's hard when he's the one that caused it. "It has nothing to do with who you are, Phoebe. I want you to know that. I've never lied to you before and I wouldn't start now. This is...my own inadequacy." This? This is entirely on him. This is a weight that will rest forever on his shoulders. Not hers, not if he can help it. Again he squeezes her hands, the burn of tears behind his eyes something he tries hard to ignore as he gently lets their fingers part as she changes the subject.
"Are you sure you want to continue? If it bothers you to be close to me...let me know your boundaries, okay?" Oliver hadn't wanted Harper to hang around after he'd been turned down, and it had been a wound that he's not sure he can handle again. But if that's what she needs, he'll do it.
can you protect me from what i want?
the love i let in, it left me so lost
the love i let in, it left me so lost
