HARPER
Her fervency is definitely unexpected, and halfway through her speech he's still mostly just staring wide-eyed at her. It's a sweet notion, and he appreciates it deeply. Instead he sighs quietly, unsure how to respond, a little overwhelmed by the twists and turns this whole day is taking.
"Well I don't intend to be that mean. And I'd certainly hope you'd want to keep being around me considering we live together." It's another weak joke, but one thats accompanied by a slight tilt to his mouth, a return of the light to his eyes that had temporarily dimmed. "I'm not trying to use it as an excuse, or to be self-deprecating. I'm sorry. But it doesn't erase my worries, the things that I know hold me back." He feels every year of his age in that moment, tired and bone-deep exhausted by his own ineptitude, by his desire to shelter her in her naive youthfulness. "Even if I said to think about it, it would be stringing you along. I want you to be free to find anyone else who may love you, not hanging onto the flimsy idea that I'll consider it." Doesn't she get that? He doesn't know if he'll ever heal, if he'll ever be ready. His heart still aches for his beloved. And he won't hurt yet another person with his hesitation.
"Well I don't intend to be that mean. And I'd certainly hope you'd want to keep being around me considering we live together." It's another weak joke, but one thats accompanied by a slight tilt to his mouth, a return of the light to his eyes that had temporarily dimmed. "I'm not trying to use it as an excuse, or to be self-deprecating. I'm sorry. But it doesn't erase my worries, the things that I know hold me back." He feels every year of his age in that moment, tired and bone-deep exhausted by his own ineptitude, by his desire to shelter her in her naive youthfulness. "Even if I said to think about it, it would be stringing you along. I want you to be free to find anyone else who may love you, not hanging onto the flimsy idea that I'll consider it." Doesn't she get that? He doesn't know if he'll ever heal, if he'll ever be ready. His heart still aches for his beloved. And he won't hurt yet another person with his hesitation.
can you protect me from what i want?
the love i let in, it left me so lost
the love i let in, it left me so lost
