I bite my tongue and I torch my dreams
The information was oddly comforting. There was some part of her that exhaled and relaxed when Nate said that there was still a version, a copy, of her living her old life. "I think that's good for my family. I do remember them. We were close." She nodded at her own words, as if when she spoke them she understood them for the first time. There was something in her that couldn't bear to think of how Ranjiri -- Ma -- was dealing with her loss after the golden woman had lost so much. Losing her daughter would be a tragedy Letha was not sure her mother could recover from. It eased her mind and heart to know that, even though the true Letha had been brought to Caido, that Ranjiri still had some blue-eyed daughter to stand with.
"I want to be close with the ascended here as I was with my family from my life before. But...I don't think I am very good at making friends. I don't know what to do. I was the oldest in my family." She, essentially, was given built-in friendships from her siblings when they were born. Although you truly could not call them friends because of the age gap and the way that Letha mothered over them just as much as her own Ma, it was still a close relationship that Letha yearned to have again. She thought of the way Seren had reacted to her, and it commanded her next words. "I am afraid that the other ascended are the only ones I will be able to have relationships with." It sounded sad, and she was, for even the demi-goddess child had meant something to her for a moment, and the fear and hesitation she had responded with still hurt Letha.
Sadness turned to sympathy when Nate regarded his life before Caido negatively. "Maybe it is easier that I only have faint, vague memories. Perhaps the Voice is sparing me from pain."
