The copper feline approaches me, holding me with her intense stare, before pressing herself against me. The deep purrs, the soft vibrations, usher something similar from me as I live in the moment, feeling a warm rush of affection and tenderness towards her. From my throat echoes a purr as I lean into her brief touch, drinking in her scent, losing myself to this fragment of time, this instant of quiet, innocent pleasure.
It is short-lived, as her voice gives further instructions, her form pulling away from my own, seeking my gaze to be held within hers, icy connections across the space between us.
It helps, everything she says and does, to stir the instincts within me, but still they meet a barrier, and now I know what makes that barrier: The same wall that keeps my emotions in check, that hides them away from my conscious mind, so that I can function as a happy human in the here-and-now, and not be dragged down into a wallowing heap of depression, grief and otherwise negative emotions.
But then the instincts of the leopard arch up within me once more as they see her elegant form bounding away from me, and the barrier is punched through by it, not shattered but certainly not solid any more.
The emotions flood through the bond, waves of all that I have kept locked away since my arrival, the loss, the grief and nostalgia, the sharp and painful realisation that all I have on Earth is gone now, left behind, abandoned, unreachable - it is a great abyss, a raging torrent, and yet as it flows from me, I give over to the instincts, and promptly follow after the caracal that encases Kia. The emotions are my fuel, my fire, and while I want to pull them back, to control them once more, I let them go, I relinquish control and surrender.
With a low growl I step in her wake, keeping my paw elevated, running with a three-legged gait after her. When the timing seems right, my haunches bunch and then leap, shooting forwards with both front paws outstretched (nails retracted though) in an attempt to tackle her hind-end, to at least capture that dang tail that keeps toying with me.
It is short-lived, as her voice gives further instructions, her form pulling away from my own, seeking my gaze to be held within hers, icy connections across the space between us.
It helps, everything she says and does, to stir the instincts within me, but still they meet a barrier, and now I know what makes that barrier: The same wall that keeps my emotions in check, that hides them away from my conscious mind, so that I can function as a happy human in the here-and-now, and not be dragged down into a wallowing heap of depression, grief and otherwise negative emotions.
But then the instincts of the leopard arch up within me once more as they see her elegant form bounding away from me, and the barrier is punched through by it, not shattered but certainly not solid any more.
The emotions flood through the bond, waves of all that I have kept locked away since my arrival, the loss, the grief and nostalgia, the sharp and painful realisation that all I have on Earth is gone now, left behind, abandoned, unreachable - it is a great abyss, a raging torrent, and yet as it flows from me, I give over to the instincts, and promptly follow after the caracal that encases Kia. The emotions are my fuel, my fire, and while I want to pull them back, to control them once more, I let them go, I relinquish control and surrender.
With a low growl I step in her wake, keeping my paw elevated, running with a three-legged gait after her. When the timing seems right, my haunches bunch and then leap, shooting forwards with both front paws outstretched (nails retracted though) in an attempt to tackle her hind-end, to at least capture that dang tail that keeps toying with me.
Chulane
fridooh & whimzi @ deviantart
