Smother me with pillows and kindness, in which I have never seen
Please slit my perfect throat with the knife that I gave you
Zeph's question sounded like he was beginning to understand the seriousness of the situation; Sam nodded. Given who he'd been only a year ago, this felt like a nightmare, hearing what he had done spoken back to him. Though when Zeph then made a joke he found himself letting out a laugh, hysterical and high-pitched among his sobbing breaths but still there, Sam surprised he found it funny. "Please d-don't."
Like he had before, Zeph went to hold Sam's chin. Now a little accustomed to the touch Sam didn't flinch this time, just pressed his lips together as he tried to take in what the man said...it was hard, when he was so vulnerable right now to the screaming voices in his mind, the ones that insisted he was nothing but dirt, deserved to be crushed under the Voice's heel for what he had done. That Zeph thought anything else, that he had specific words like 'kind' and 'clever'...Sam blinked as fat tears rolled down his face, the sadness within momentarily replaced with surprise and a flicker of affection.
He was quiet for a moment after that, slowly trying to balance himself. His eyes were still wet when he'd done but he was at least beginning to adopt his usual breathless silence again, fingers curling into fists and back again on his leg and his other hand gripping hard onto Zephs. "...I d-don't know what I'm going to d-d-do. The Voice d-didn't kill me, but Wessex will. The Old G-g-Gods won't want me either and I won't be able to hee-help the Grounders either. I c-can't go out in the sun anymore." Perhaps that was a little dramatic, but he was on a downwards spiral and every possible wrong outcome was swirling up into his mind.
"I'm sorry. You d-don't know me well enough to have to deal with th..this." He let out a little huff of unamused laughter and shook his head. "You are ve-very kind. But you don't have...have to stay."
Like he had before, Zeph went to hold Sam's chin. Now a little accustomed to the touch Sam didn't flinch this time, just pressed his lips together as he tried to take in what the man said...it was hard, when he was so vulnerable right now to the screaming voices in his mind, the ones that insisted he was nothing but dirt, deserved to be crushed under the Voice's heel for what he had done. That Zeph thought anything else, that he had specific words like 'kind' and 'clever'...Sam blinked as fat tears rolled down his face, the sadness within momentarily replaced with surprise and a flicker of affection.
He was quiet for a moment after that, slowly trying to balance himself. His eyes were still wet when he'd done but he was at least beginning to adopt his usual breathless silence again, fingers curling into fists and back again on his leg and his other hand gripping hard onto Zephs. "...I d-don't know what I'm going to d-d-do. The Voice d-didn't kill me, but Wessex will. The Old G-g-Gods won't want me either and I won't be able to hee-help the Grounders either. I c-can't go out in the sun anymore." Perhaps that was a little dramatic, but he was on a downwards spiral and every possible wrong outcome was swirling up into his mind.
"I'm sorry. You d-don't know me well enough to have to deal with th..this." He let out a little huff of unamused laughter and shook his head. "You are ve-very kind. But you don't have...have to stay."
When I told you "I love you" in my home
Just stab me in the back
