Ah, so now you're getting into it. Truth be told you would have been perfectly happy to let Sam spend the season in ignorance of your less savory side, keeping him comfortably at arm's distance as originally intended, but... well, fuck it. Here you are, and he thinks you're a Good Guy and you think he's a fucking sweetheart who's been dealt an unjust hand and doesn't need to put his faith in another person who's only going to betray it again.
"Oh, y'know. Bit'a stealin', bit'a smugglin'. Bit'a other stuff, too." Way more. Your face is a mask of hard lines and hard truths. "Was a shit husband. Spent more time at the bottom of a bottle than any man ought'a, after... after our son died."
'-What the fuck do you want from me, El? I can't read your mind-!'
Shake away the ghosts. You wish you had some whiskey. "Point bein', I ain't some reliable hero sort. No paragon'a virtue. I'm a fuck-up, same as anyone else, an' a criminal by some people's estimation. I ain't a good man, but..."
You trail off, not looking at him. But what? What else can you say? You're a fucking mess, plain and simple, but at least you won't beat him. You won't tell him he's worthless just because he doesn't fit your idea of worth. And you won't let anyone else, so long as he's under your roof. It's the best you can offer - even if you can't bear to say it out loud, for fear the promise won't be kept.
"Oh, y'know. Bit'a stealin', bit'a smugglin'. Bit'a other stuff, too." Way more. Your face is a mask of hard lines and hard truths. "Was a shit husband. Spent more time at the bottom of a bottle than any man ought'a, after... after our son died."
'-What the fuck do you want from me, El? I can't read your mind-!'
Shake away the ghosts. You wish you had some whiskey. "Point bein', I ain't some reliable hero sort. No paragon'a virtue. I'm a fuck-up, same as anyone else, an' a criminal by some people's estimation. I ain't a good man, but..."
You trail off, not looking at him. But what? What else can you say? You're a fucking mess, plain and simple, but at least you won't beat him. You won't tell him he's worthless just because he doesn't fit your idea of worth. And you won't let anyone else, so long as he's under your roof. It's the best you can offer - even if you can't bear to say it out loud, for fear the promise won't be kept.
and in the sea that's painted black
creatures lurk below the deckbut you're my king and i'm your lionheart
creatures lurk below the deckbut you're my king and i'm your lionheart
