A warm meal and a quiet night

KIADA we are all just fighting to survive a world, where 'i miss you' doesn't mean I'm coming back. There’s an almost grave nod that she gives him when he mentions that he has less of an explanation than she does. It’s the only thing that makes sense – but when he mentions gods and seasons, still being new to him, she feels that awkward swirling in her gut begin again anew. “I’m… Intimately familiar with the whims of gods.” She admits, turning her attention back down to her plate and continuing to dig in, finding it comfortable to not look at him while she explains it. She’s told him of her failed quest for Ludo – the herald here that she hopes she has not offended… But of Kaos? Of Hope? She pauses in her eating to take a sip from her water, thankful partially for the way he continues on, her gaze lifting to meet his across the table as she nods. She had wanted to be one of those once – when someone in the Basin had asked her if she were to become queen, if she’d rather be feared or loved, how she had chosen fear instead of love. Probably because love only ended up in heartache and the Harpy didn’t know how much more she could handle, how much more she could take. The mention of selfish assholes has a small smile growing across her face as she continues to eat, pausing only when she finally has her thoughts in line. “I think that’s common in every world.” She replies with a small wry smile. Perhaps it’s the way the conversation has shifted, but there’s a part of her that feels like she needs to tell him now, before things progress, before things grow too close to where it would be awful if she revealed it to him later. Worse if someone else did, like Melita. “Chuy…” She begins, inhaling, her face growing a bit more solemn and quiet. “I… Used to be like that, too. When…” Another pause as she swallows hard and tries to figure out how the fuck to say this without appearing like the terrible person she was. “When Kianzo was kidnapped, I found a god named Kisamoa in my first world. He promised to reward me if I helped him, and in the hopes that I might grow strong enough to find my brother, I did it. It… Resulted in a lot of death, when he grew strong enough to kill our gods and push us through a portal to his world.” She’s trying to tell him that she’s not innocent of any crimes, that she’d helped in the fact he’d grown so strong and powerful, powerful enough to destroy her world and her life, to kill her childhood love, to kill so many others. “It was Kisamoa’s amulet that exploded around my neck. It marked me in the Rift, that is why it glowed. It matched his own glow. Everything was tampered with - the armor, the magic, everything - but... He did reward me.” Her gaze has fallen from him now, to look back at her plate as she reaches for her water, to try and do something with her hands and avoid what sort of reaction she might receive. and 'I love you' doesn't mean I'll stay...