you have survived every moment of your life
even the ones you swore you wouldn't
Her contradiction makes him feel all the more exhausted. Reminds him too move of Jigano, who too had misunderstood and pompously denied Harper's own opinion. Though he has made a few friends here in Caido, the number seems evenly split with those who seem to want to press down their own ideals upon him at every given turn, and Harper merely turns his gaze away from her to hide his disappointment that she follows in this trend. "That's not what I said. I can't pass judgement on them for their decisions, or their current state, not when they made it themselves as they were departing. But to be followed around in spite of the promise of eternal peace, that is a kind of love and devotion I can't ignore." Giving a frustrated noise in the back of his throat, he shakes his head harshly. "Nevermind, as you said it doesn't matter. They are just natural spirits." He doesn't want to talk about it anymore, lest they end up fighting and stomping away as Jigano had. He's too tired for that. So goddamn tired of everything in general.
Her sharp eye only brings that grief to the surface all the more. Still refusing to look into her bright eyes, Harper stares deadpan at the horizon, the beauty of it meaningless as Tova's laugh rings impossibly in his ears. "She was...everything. The sun lived in her skin, magic breathed in her veins. And yet none of that was what captured my attention when we met. She was just...underneath all of that talent, magic, and beauty...she was so kind. Strong. I never deserved her, not once, no matter the good I did." And though his depression says otherwise at times, Harper knows he has done a lot of good. "And she died to protect me. Bled out in my arms. And I vowed I'd love her forever, and even now I continue to fail her. Even now I cannot honor her." Grief drips down his face in virulent tears, but the clench of his jaw is the only change upon his stonelike visage.
Her sharp eye only brings that grief to the surface all the more. Still refusing to look into her bright eyes, Harper stares deadpan at the horizon, the beauty of it meaningless as Tova's laugh rings impossibly in his ears. "She was...everything. The sun lived in her skin, magic breathed in her veins. And yet none of that was what captured my attention when we met. She was just...underneath all of that talent, magic, and beauty...she was so kind. Strong. I never deserved her, not once, no matter the good I did." And though his depression says otherwise at times, Harper knows he has done a lot of good. "And she died to protect me. Bled out in my arms. And I vowed I'd love her forever, and even now I continue to fail her. Even now I cannot honor her." Grief drips down his face in virulent tears, but the clench of his jaw is the only change upon his stonelike visage.
this time is no different
you will last
