you have survived every moment of your life
even the ones you swore you wouldn't
His hastiness is unnecessary, and something eases and fades away, relief washing it down into nothing as the younger woman speaks. At last he turns his gaze back to her, different shades of blue meeting once more, and there is a gratitude for her understanding that cannot be missed in his expression. "No, I'm sorry. I was too hasty. I already had a bad experience with someone who took that misunderstanding too far..." Even though he still has a dislike for Jigano, Harper will not actively drag the Sage's name through the mud, and shakes his head with a wry twist of his lips to cut off that line of thought. "Thank you." Truly. He can't remember the last time someone so boldly said that his feelings matter. Probably since Tova, whose understanding of human speech patterns had been tenuous at best. Far too bold and sincere for her own good - or for the good of Harper's heart.
Harper startles slightly at her touch, but gentles beneath it like a tamed beast. Perhaps leaning subtly into it if she cares to notice. He has lost so many of his students, his family, by being sent here. Admittedly he's aware he has become touch-starved, reluctant to intrude upon Kiada or Phoebe now that those types of touches hold too much potential for misunderstanding. His shoulders tremble at Delphia's soft inquiry, but he manages to restrain himself from clenching his hands, aware he still has wounds upon his palms from afternoons spent training to try and chase the memories away. "I swore I'd follow her someday, that we would reunite in the afterlife. But...but the Gods have told me that I will never see her again. That Mort is not powerful enough to transcend realms." His voice constricts impossibly tight. "I have lost her all over again." And this time, he cannot get her back.
"I told her I'd love her forever. The idea of keeping myself for her was never one that bothered me after her death. But now, that vow is hurting others. Others who care for me, who I can feel myself caring for in return. But I can't...I still love her, more than I feel I could ever love them. And I dishonor her by even entertaining the idea."
Harper startles slightly at her touch, but gentles beneath it like a tamed beast. Perhaps leaning subtly into it if she cares to notice. He has lost so many of his students, his family, by being sent here. Admittedly he's aware he has become touch-starved, reluctant to intrude upon Kiada or Phoebe now that those types of touches hold too much potential for misunderstanding. His shoulders tremble at Delphia's soft inquiry, but he manages to restrain himself from clenching his hands, aware he still has wounds upon his palms from afternoons spent training to try and chase the memories away. "I swore I'd follow her someday, that we would reunite in the afterlife. But...but the Gods have told me that I will never see her again. That Mort is not powerful enough to transcend realms." His voice constricts impossibly tight. "I have lost her all over again." And this time, he cannot get her back.
"I told her I'd love her forever. The idea of keeping myself for her was never one that bothered me after her death. But now, that vow is hurting others. Others who care for me, who I can feel myself caring for in return. But I can't...I still love her, more than I feel I could ever love them. And I dishonor her by even entertaining the idea."
this time is no different
you will last
