- NATE -
I don’t want a world
Without pain or loss
Without pain or loss
Nate knows nearly everything he's said has gone over the other mans head, but that had kind of been the point, hadn't it? With the step back, the clinical lilt in his voice. Distance, from Sunjata, from his wound, while he talked about it so directly. Something outside of himself, almost. "It doesn't make sense. I'm just guessing for a lot of this. I really... don't know how different I am to what I know." It's an admission joined by a shrug, a little huff of a sigh. A crack in the mask, where actual worry, actual discomfort can leak out. And he knows, he knows the other man is trying to help, to be supportive, but there's only so much support can do before he needs distraction, before he needs his mind pointed towards something easier to digest.
A lopsided grin crosses Nate's face as the right answer is offered up, as Sunjata leans in closer with nothing but a smile and agreement. "Grey is nice." He hums, fingers tapping on his cheek, coming to a rather sudden stop at the tone in the other mans voice, the suggestion given. "I guess it would be close to you too, wouldn't it?" Nate responds, trying to act as if it was the first time the thought had crossed his mind, as though it hadn't been one of the first things to cross his mind.
If this conversation were a dance, they'd both be lame at this point. This should be so much easier. Should come so much more naturally. Like the way he winds into Sunjata, the comfort closeness brings. If they talked half as easily as they touched, there wouldn't be the chances to be misunderstood, wouldn't be chances to say the wrong thing. They don't though, and there are, and all Nate can do is hope that the next wrong thing isn't the last wrong thing. Even Sunjata's understanding much have a limit, though this wrong thing, this misstep of tone doesn't reach it.
He'd said, more than once now, that he's selfish. What Sunjata's offering is the ultimate indulgence, and Nate grabs onto it greedily, almost too eagerly. "You should." There's a dip back to old confidence, just for a moment, a flash in his eye and twist on his lips, but it settles away again as the attuned continues. Part of him wants to immediately snap that he'd prefer a billion smaller scars to this one marring one, but he bites his tongue, the other man lifting his chin and reminding that smaller doesn't mean small. Nate closes his eyes instead, and leans in to press his lips against the scar on Sunjata's neck, staying pressed in close as he waits expectantly for more.
A lopsided grin crosses Nate's face as the right answer is offered up, as Sunjata leans in closer with nothing but a smile and agreement. "Grey is nice." He hums, fingers tapping on his cheek, coming to a rather sudden stop at the tone in the other mans voice, the suggestion given. "I guess it would be close to you too, wouldn't it?" Nate responds, trying to act as if it was the first time the thought had crossed his mind, as though it hadn't been one of the first things to cross his mind.
If this conversation were a dance, they'd both be lame at this point. This should be so much easier. Should come so much more naturally. Like the way he winds into Sunjata, the comfort closeness brings. If they talked half as easily as they touched, there wouldn't be the chances to be misunderstood, wouldn't be chances to say the wrong thing. They don't though, and there are, and all Nate can do is hope that the next wrong thing isn't the last wrong thing. Even Sunjata's understanding much have a limit, though this wrong thing, this misstep of tone doesn't reach it.
He'd said, more than once now, that he's selfish. What Sunjata's offering is the ultimate indulgence, and Nate grabs onto it greedily, almost too eagerly. "You should." There's a dip back to old confidence, just for a moment, a flash in his eye and twist on his lips, but it settles away again as the attuned continues. Part of him wants to immediately snap that he'd prefer a billion smaller scars to this one marring one, but he bites his tongue, the other man lifting his chin and reminding that smaller doesn't mean small. Nate closes his eyes instead, and leans in to press his lips against the scar on Sunjata's neck, staying pressed in close as he waits expectantly for more.
I just want them
To mean something
To mean something
