Smother me with pillows and kindness, in which I have never seen
Please slit my perfect throat with the knife that I gave you
The message had come when he had been alone, which was probably the best time for it: gave him time to cry, to struggle to not throw up, to yell and pace around and panic as much as he needed to without distressing anyone else. There was plenty of that to do, as the meaning of Wessex's words really got into Sam's head.
He had killed Rexanna and Clem. Intentionally or not, his actions had lead directly to their demise, and what was worse: The Voice had warned him of that and he'd left her for it.
Before long, there was a note on the kitchen table telling Zeph he'd be back, then he was out the door, wandering in the dusky evening down to find the Voice's shrine without even really knowing what he was doing. Sam still had all of his objections, still wanted to find his own path...but she had been right, and he couldn't deny that; that combined with his seemingly inevitable death from a lack of fluid, and there was enough impetus for him to kneel before the statue once again.
Without any indication the Voice was there, he began to speak. "...Voice. I n-need to talk to you an...and I have a lo-lot to say, so I hope you'll li..listen." This was probably blasphemously bold, but he had to get it all out before they could continue; he looked up to the statue and spoke directly to it.
"I meant it, when I le...left, and I'm no-not back because I mi..miss my upgrades. I..I mean, I do, and I esp-especially miss my voice, but..that's not the re-reason. No, I um..." Sam sighed, still finding this hard to say: "I ca-came because Rexanna and Cl-Clem died just li...like you said so-someone would, and um...I realised tha..that maybe you kn-know things more than I thought. But."
Maybe he was going to get smote for daring to speak this much at length about his issues with her, but he was set to die in a year anyway. "I fin-find it so ha..hard to blindly follow. A l-lot of the things we've done or..or caused, I h-hate. The Blight...you do-don't even seem that sorry f..for it. You seem to ha-hate people who are good ju..just because they aren't Ascended. You ma-make it so we can never...never really leave you. Please, I wan-want to understand, but I ca..can't just throw away all my concerns. B-but, oh, Rex..." Rambling words over, Sam put his head in his hands and softly cried, not sure if he expected his Goddess to answer or not.
He had killed Rexanna and Clem. Intentionally or not, his actions had lead directly to their demise, and what was worse: The Voice had warned him of that and he'd left her for it.
Before long, there was a note on the kitchen table telling Zeph he'd be back, then he was out the door, wandering in the dusky evening down to find the Voice's shrine without even really knowing what he was doing. Sam still had all of his objections, still wanted to find his own path...but she had been right, and he couldn't deny that; that combined with his seemingly inevitable death from a lack of fluid, and there was enough impetus for him to kneel before the statue once again.
Without any indication the Voice was there, he began to speak. "...Voice. I n-need to talk to you an...and I have a lo-lot to say, so I hope you'll li..listen." This was probably blasphemously bold, but he had to get it all out before they could continue; he looked up to the statue and spoke directly to it.
"I meant it, when I le...left, and I'm no-not back because I mi..miss my upgrades. I..I mean, I do, and I esp-especially miss my voice, but..that's not the re-reason. No, I um..." Sam sighed, still finding this hard to say: "I ca-came because Rexanna and Cl-Clem died just li...like you said so-someone would, and um...I realised tha..that maybe you kn-know things more than I thought. But."
Maybe he was going to get smote for daring to speak this much at length about his issues with her, but he was set to die in a year anyway. "I fin-find it so ha..hard to blindly follow. A l-lot of the things we've done or..or caused, I h-hate. The Blight...you do-don't even seem that sorry f..for it. You seem to ha-hate people who are good ju..just because they aren't Ascended. You ma-make it so we can never...never really leave you. Please, I wan-want to understand, but I ca..can't just throw away all my concerns. B-but, oh, Rex..." Rambling words over, Sam put his head in his hands and softly cried, not sure if he expected his Goddess to answer or not.
When I told you "I love you" in my home
Just stab me in the back
