- NATE -
When you’re around
I don’t know how to hide my feelings
I don’t know how to hide my feelings
Nate’s explanation feels brusque, flippant, if only because he is afraid he will be dragged down into the darkness of the tunnels if his thoughts linger there too much. A simple explanation flows best, keeps him the most distant, though it can only last so long, he can only control what he says. There’s that guilt, coming to the forefront of his mind again, bitter frustration evident in Sunjata’s weak growl. He had done nothing, had stood by and watched the attuned be struck again and again. The beginning tracks of the spiral are blown away by Hotaru’s soft words, soft laugh. By the gentle touch to a situation that he could only react to with an exhausted horror now. It makes for a refreshing change, spurs his hand to finally make that connection, wrapping around her waist in a half hug.
It seems the reason for his own state won’t be so easily ignored, but it can at least be waylaid a touch longer, Sunjata’s healing a moment for shocked, giddy celebration. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. And it’s easy to underestimate how long an arms length can really be, but it feels as if this is their first real embrace in too long, despite the fact that it had only been a matter of days. Easier still to forget how right it feels to have Hotaru with them, how much difference she makes. If Nate could sink into this moment, could stretch it into an eternity, he would, but he’s swept away with it instead, by laughter and conversation that he only barely follows, apart from a rather fervent thought that he would like to hear Ru’s story, regardless of it’s believability.
There’s something so wonderfully disconnected about the embrace, though reality begins to creep back in, a slow leak deflating the party balloon. Nate shifts, careful to not dislodge Sunjata’s arm, and pulls himself into a more comfortable position, Hotaru carefully nestled in the slight space between them. It’s close to how they’d fallen asleep, so long ago, but he tries to keep that thought far from his mind, tries to focus instead on an answer owed.
”I... was attacked randomly.” Another weak, distant admission. Nate’s tongue darts out to wet suddenly dry lips, and his gaze settles on a point between the other two, without actually touching either of them. ”We don’t know who, or why or...” Anything really, and that should really affect him more than it does, but the less he knows for sure, the easier it is to keep paranoia at bay. ”It looks worse than it feels.” Whether it’s because of the lightness from before, or something else, this actually flies like the joke it’s meant to be, a crooked grin gracing Nate’s lips for an instant. It makes it feel a little less like he’s ruining the moment, a little more like this is a normal, easy conversation.
It seems the reason for his own state won’t be so easily ignored, but it can at least be waylaid a touch longer, Sunjata’s healing a moment for shocked, giddy celebration. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. And it’s easy to underestimate how long an arms length can really be, but it feels as if this is their first real embrace in too long, despite the fact that it had only been a matter of days. Easier still to forget how right it feels to have Hotaru with them, how much difference she makes. If Nate could sink into this moment, could stretch it into an eternity, he would, but he’s swept away with it instead, by laughter and conversation that he only barely follows, apart from a rather fervent thought that he would like to hear Ru’s story, regardless of it’s believability.
There’s something so wonderfully disconnected about the embrace, though reality begins to creep back in, a slow leak deflating the party balloon. Nate shifts, careful to not dislodge Sunjata’s arm, and pulls himself into a more comfortable position, Hotaru carefully nestled in the slight space between them. It’s close to how they’d fallen asleep, so long ago, but he tries to keep that thought far from his mind, tries to focus instead on an answer owed.
”I... was attacked randomly.” Another weak, distant admission. Nate’s tongue darts out to wet suddenly dry lips, and his gaze settles on a point between the other two, without actually touching either of them. ”We don’t know who, or why or...” Anything really, and that should really affect him more than it does, but the less he knows for sure, the easier it is to keep paranoia at bay. ”It looks worse than it feels.” Whether it’s because of the lightness from before, or something else, this actually flies like the joke it’s meant to be, a crooked grin gracing Nate’s lips for an instant. It makes it feel a little less like he’s ruining the moment, a little more like this is a normal, easy conversation.
I count in binary in my head
And you count clouds
And you count clouds
