emptiness in harmony

evie The kind of flawless I wish I could be The brief glimpse she sees of her sister's face is enough to crush what little hope fills her breast, but Evie doesn't let it flit across her face. Far too controlled to allow such a slip-up, not when she has had to hide so many of her own reactions over the years. Amalia is clearly doing her best to appear put together, perhaps in some sort of desperate bid to convince herself she is. Evie can relate all too well to the way that feels, the darkness that seems to seep into each open pore and ill-concealed wound, like trying to wipe tar off bloodied hands but finding it refuses to part from your skin. Perhaps another pair of hands would help, but Evie knows that what she has come to do, to say, will be of no real use. Will likely harm more than it helps. And yet her feet carry her nervelessly across the floor, because Evie has faced down too much, has learned to never turn away or cringe from the worst the world has to offer. Even if you are the one to herald its arrival. Still, she embraces her sister while she still can, clinging perhaps a little too long or too tight. Though her eyes are warm, tired edges a little smoothed by Amalia's presence. "Oh Gods, if you start calling me Majesty I might just have to throw the crown at someone else." Chuckling to herself, she herds Amalia back behind the counter, shooing her back towards the dough while she leans her hip against the wood in a motion so comfortable and well-practiced it makes her heart ache. "I...I'm glad to see you're doing better, Lia. This LongNight...well, it's never easy, but I wasn't prepared for everything that happened." A hand rises to run over her tired face, sighing. "Gods, Amalia, what am I even doing? Queen? I feel like I'm spitting on Rexanna's memory. And I...I..." she knows she has to say it, but she's terrified to do it too soon, to devolve into shouting and heartbreak and possibly worse. Abandonment. Loneliness. So instead she diverts to another topic, one still rigged with wire and hidden holes that will surely trip them up, but one that isn't so devastating to talk about. "I've completely forsaken the Gods, Amalia. Not long before LongNight. And I don't know how to reconcile that with my family, with ruling this land that I love so much. Especially with what looks like another war staring us down." Family that tears her in two separate directions, Sam and The Voice and Amalia and the Old Gods. Both of which she cannot allow herself to follow. But will her decision damn her people, now that she has power over their way of life?