a reflection that nobody really knows

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

For a long moment, Remi said nothing.  He leaned into Vai's lips against his cheek, comforting and warm, but there was something still unsaid. Something he wanted to leave unsaid, but couldn't.

Wouldn't.

"Vai...even had I known what my leaving meant for you...I.." He didn't want to meet her blue gaze, but he owed her that, if nothing else. Raising his eyes, weary in their honesty, Remi found himself again in the position of having to tell someone just how much he'd changed. If Vai found him now lost in the woods, his talons would lash out at her. He'd not be carried back to safety and society, but would maim and flee farther into madness and death. "..I would still have gone." He said finally, softly.

"Aoife's death..Ludo's cleansing of my soul...I feel like I've lost my ability to care. I'm not moved by anything, anymore. There's really only Ronin now, and while I want to let you in as well, to have you on my bridge...I don't.." Raising his free hand to his chest but not to his heart, instead to the place marred by grotesque flesh, he swallowed. "..I don't feel anything, anymore."

THE ALCHEMIST

maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing