a reflection that nobody really knows

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

"There are few consequences if there is no one on my bridge." Remi murmured. Because that was the thing about it. Before, he'd had a revolving door on his heart and no locks upon anything. Everyone came and went as they pleased. Now that the way was treacherous and small, Remi found he quite enjoyed the silence. He enjoyed the lack of responsibilities. "You know if you'd only just abandon me none of it would even matter." The Alchemist said, meaning the words as a joke, but hearing the ring of truth in them despite his intentions.

Pulling in a breath, Remi genuinely considered. "Selfishness is so easy, Vai." He admitted. " I don't need anything from anyone—" Save Ronin, but that went without saying. "—so there's no reason for me to be nice or kind. No reason to care, really. All that's left is to be that way simply because it is the right thing to do...Once I knew what that was. I really thought I did, anyway." Manipulated by those governing Northaven into thinking they really did know what was best, that being gay was abhorrent. That doing what he was told was obligatory because of who and what he was and where he was born. "Now I have no idea. And I'm quite sure my own moral compass hasn't worked in a long while."

THE ALCHEMIST

maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing