no emotion that's worth having

SAMUEL i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon. and with one wanton whoop — Sam kept his eyes to the ground, caught not just by Zeph's words but his own mind, which pulled him in two directions. One half was hopeful, fantastical, dreamed of saying screw it and moving back to Halo, getting back to the map store with the nice view, swimming in the ocean, living with friends...the other half was realistic, knew that he had obligations, that no matter where he went he always seemed to take bad luck. He closed his eyes at the hand on his shoulder, a deep sigh leaving him in lieu of tears. "..Right. Thank you. You're...you're one of the best friends I've ever had." Trying to give a genuine smile, even though it faltered a little, Sam briefly touched the hand on his shoulder. "I wish I had met someone like you earlier. Before I got myself caught up in...everything. If...if someone had been like you when I was 16, I wouldn't have..." Not finishing his thought with words, Sam waved a hand about. "But I did, and I have to deal with that. I have to. Just, maybe-" Daring to let himself touch that hopeful half of his mind for a second, Sam asked: "-After Deepfrost, if...if I'm okay, could I maybe...come to visit? To see if Torchline really is okay for me even after what happened." — i melt into a sycophantic soup, & all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.