eyes can't shine unless there's something burning bright behind
"You'd... you want to be a demigod, like them?" Aurelia's taken aback by all of this, by the premise of people becoming demigods. Her gaze narrows thoughtfully as she ponders it all. So, it's possible to become a god or godess' chosen few. There is, however, a small shrug of relief when Sunjata said he never killed anyone for her.
"That's one thing that makes me second guess it... I'd be picking a side in all of this. Given my specific set of skills... I wouldn't be surprised if that's exactly what they'd ask of me," she swallowed, looking up at Sunjata as she continued, "to kill for them. Melita told me that Ludo's done that before. I don't want to be anywhere near the-the Herald of Death. I've worked too closely with death for too long." In a way, it felt like she had been a herald for death in her world, too. An agent, a deliverer of it. She'd spent so much time fighting, opposing, avenging, killing.
Now that she was able to settle... to find out and learn what was truly right, she realized how much of what she'd done was wrong. Mistaken. A way of life she'd only chosen because she hadn't known any better.
It left a bitter taste in her mouth and a weight on her conscience that could not simply be relieved by learning how to forgive herself.
"It's not about whether I want anything out of it... it's that I have to do so much to balance out what I've already done. I have to actually do things, though, not just say I'll be better. It's not enough," her gaze shimmered and her voice strained with the admittance. She swept her gaze away from him. She wasn't used to letting herself feel this. She looked around at the shadowy jungles and pursed her lips, pulling in an uneven breath. "So... Safrin, then. If she'll even have me."
"That's one thing that makes me second guess it... I'd be picking a side in all of this. Given my specific set of skills... I wouldn't be surprised if that's exactly what they'd ask of me," she swallowed, looking up at Sunjata as she continued, "to kill for them. Melita told me that Ludo's done that before. I don't want to be anywhere near the-the Herald of Death. I've worked too closely with death for too long." In a way, it felt like she had been a herald for death in her world, too. An agent, a deliverer of it. She'd spent so much time fighting, opposing, avenging, killing.
Now that she was able to settle... to find out and learn what was truly right, she realized how much of what she'd done was wrong. Mistaken. A way of life she'd only chosen because she hadn't known any better.
It left a bitter taste in her mouth and a weight on her conscience that could not simply be relieved by learning how to forgive herself.
"It's not about whether I want anything out of it... it's that I have to do so much to balance out what I've already done. I have to actually do things, though, not just say I'll be better. It's not enough," her gaze shimmered and her voice strained with the admittance. She swept her gaze away from him. She wasn't used to letting herself feel this. She looked around at the shadowy jungles and pursed her lips, pulling in an uneven breath. "So... Safrin, then. If she'll even have me."
Aurelia
