Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away
Maea nodded, the laughter cut short and wry amusement fading into that same somber expression. "Yes, you are right. Of course, in hindsight I realize that. Loren was right too, I should have stayed put, or at least done something a little closer to home. In my state of mind, and considering how green I still was with magic and fights... It was stupid." She shrugged helplessly. It was easy to be wise when it was all said and done. She had been hasty, and reckless. Overconfident and too hellbent on taking care of herself to accept the support of her friends when they offered it. Loren had been there for her. Jigano had too, though apparently he had been more than a little heavy handed in the aftermath. Sunjata's description of the scene made her frown and shake her head, wishing the Lorekeeper were there so she could... do what? Berate him? No good would it do now.
"I'm sorry he did that. It's probably my fault... After our row, I had to talk to someone. I'm afraid he didn't hear the best version of what happened." It did not give him license to treat Sunjata like he had, of course. That sounded nothing like the man she had known, and Maea had to wonder what her death had done to him.
Looking down at her hands, she searched for something to say. Words that might migitate the damage that had been dealt, or at least explain. But none of the things she thought of seemed enough.
"I'm sorry, Sunjata," was all she got out in the end. Soft, quiet words that did nothing to convey the depth of the meaning she wanted to put in them. "For not telling you what I planned to do. For being so reckless. I'm sorry for leaving you alone like that. I didn't mean for any of it to go like that. I -" But her voice broke as emotions overwhelmed her, and Maea broke off. Looked away, out over the sea with a hand covering lips that trembled too much to speak. Could this body cry? She wasn't sure. Did not wish to find out - it felt cheap, somehow. Tears would not solve anything, only buy pity that she did neither want nor deserve.
"I'm sorry he did that. It's probably my fault... After our row, I had to talk to someone. I'm afraid he didn't hear the best version of what happened." It did not give him license to treat Sunjata like he had, of course. That sounded nothing like the man she had known, and Maea had to wonder what her death had done to him.
Looking down at her hands, she searched for something to say. Words that might migitate the damage that had been dealt, or at least explain. But none of the things she thought of seemed enough.
"I'm sorry, Sunjata," was all she got out in the end. Soft, quiet words that did nothing to convey the depth of the meaning she wanted to put in them. "For not telling you what I planned to do. For being so reckless. I'm sorry for leaving you alone like that. I didn't mean for any of it to go like that. I -" But her voice broke as emotions overwhelmed her, and Maea broke off. Looked away, out over the sea with a hand covering lips that trembled too much to speak. Could this body cry? She wasn't sure. Did not wish to find out - it felt cheap, somehow. Tears would not solve anything, only buy pity that she did neither want nor deserve.
