You won't go lonely into this fight, if you just hold me we will survive
She shouldn't feel relieved over Wessex's reaction, but she is. Deimos would always be by her side, no matter his exasperation over how he'd warned her beforehand. But now she knows for sure that what she feels, how she reacted, it wasn't wrong. She does not deserve to be condemned for deciding to leave, to choose herself over the one she loved for the first time. Preserving her own sanity and happiness, even if that happiness is elusive and deeply buried as of now. When Wessex looks down at her with a maelstrom in her eyes, Hotaru is surprised to find a sharpness behind her own, sucker-punched by a sudden wave of emotion she'd carefully buried away. She feels seen. Validated. Assured that somebody is on her side in this instead of pitying Sunjata in comparison.
The assurance that she is still worthy has a tear that clings to her pale lashes trickling down her cheek, but she is poleaxed and frozen by the Wraith's gaze. Her own eyes desperately searching out that truth in the woman's expression, drinking it down to hold it deep inside where it may nourish her in times of drought and doubt alike. "Thank you," she whispers hoarsely. Gratitude broken like glass over her features, still reluctant to so much as blink. Her hand squeezes at the one that holds it, clinging tightly and trying to ignore how it shakes. There is only so vulnerable she will allow herself to be, but this is an acceptable level for now. For Wessex, at least.
"It's not her I blame, she had no oaths to me like Sunjata did," she says instead through trembling lips, but they curve into a wry smile all the same. "But I'll take the suggestions all the same." Swallowing a little unsteadily, she clears her throat and companionably leans her shoulder into Wessex's. Though there is no emanating warmth there to feel, the pressure alone is a physicality she has been starved of since leaving Sunjata. As for Nate, well...she is too scared to hope that he will choose her. Hotaru feels the touch starvation keenly already, but the Wraith keeps it at bay, happy to hold and touch companionably. "I'm scared that Nate will stay. I can't force him to leave, but I worry for his safety if he remains." A concern she can freely share with his fellow Ascended. "I don't think he will choose me over Sunjata. I have to be prepared for that. But...I know it's a lot to ask, but if you could keep an eye on him? Sunjata would never hurt him knowingly, but it's clear he does not think things through enough to make it impossible by proxy." Especially with something potentially inside him.
Hotaru doesn't care about herself. Her pain is her own. But she's scared for Nate, for what his blind devotion may lead to.
The assurance that she is still worthy has a tear that clings to her pale lashes trickling down her cheek, but she is poleaxed and frozen by the Wraith's gaze. Her own eyes desperately searching out that truth in the woman's expression, drinking it down to hold it deep inside where it may nourish her in times of drought and doubt alike. "Thank you," she whispers hoarsely. Gratitude broken like glass over her features, still reluctant to so much as blink. Her hand squeezes at the one that holds it, clinging tightly and trying to ignore how it shakes. There is only so vulnerable she will allow herself to be, but this is an acceptable level for now. For Wessex, at least.
"It's not her I blame, she had no oaths to me like Sunjata did," she says instead through trembling lips, but they curve into a wry smile all the same. "But I'll take the suggestions all the same." Swallowing a little unsteadily, she clears her throat and companionably leans her shoulder into Wessex's. Though there is no emanating warmth there to feel, the pressure alone is a physicality she has been starved of since leaving Sunjata. As for Nate, well...she is too scared to hope that he will choose her. Hotaru feels the touch starvation keenly already, but the Wraith keeps it at bay, happy to hold and touch companionably. "I'm scared that Nate will stay. I can't force him to leave, but I worry for his safety if he remains." A concern she can freely share with his fellow Ascended. "I don't think he will choose me over Sunjata. I have to be prepared for that. But...I know it's a lot to ask, but if you could keep an eye on him? Sunjata would never hurt him knowingly, but it's clear he does not think things through enough to make it impossible by proxy." Especially with something potentially inside him.
Hotaru doesn't care about herself. Her pain is her own. But she's scared for Nate, for what his blind devotion may lead to.
