and heres when it gets worse

Adam Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels Amalia had taken him back to Torchline, which was fortunate, because otherwise he would have been gone for weeks as he tried to work out his way back home...but on the other hand, Adam wasn't sure he wanted to be home. He stood in front of the Devil's Advocates door, knowing Pet would be on the other side, probably waiting for him, probably excited to see him. And he was about to go in there and break the guys heart, when he'd already lost so fucking much. In some ways, he thought it might be easier to just turn and leave; but who was that easier for? Pet or himself? Gritting his teeth and forcing his hand to the door handle, he walked in and towards the little pile of cushions they'd made into a make shift living space before they got a house...which was looking like a more distant possibility with every moment. "Pet, we gotta talk. Again." He said without looking down, stood on the edge of the blankets, not wanting to get in and get comfortable, to drag on whatever this was going to be with false pretenses. "...I'm...oh fuck, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm just such a fucking fuck up and I've fucked it." He'd managed to hold back the tears with Amalia, partly because of the anger, but now he had no reason to; sinking down to squat with his knees bent, Adam pressed his palms into his face. "I've fucked us. We can't...I gotta do the right thing and let you get away from me." But I am just a broken machine And I do things that I don't really mean