and heres when it gets worse

Adam Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels Pet was often hard to predict, especially when it came to emotional situations; Adam was unsure how he'd react (he worried that Pet would default to just allowing it all, and he'd have to push them apart further). When the arms around him suddenly pulled away, Adam feeling the cold on his back emotionally if not physically, it was a surprise. He didn't turn to look at Peter though, kept staring ahead and down, as if looking at the cushions before him long enough would bring some kind of answer. The question was plain and practical and difficult. There was a long pause, Adam trying to decide if he could even live with himself if Pet decided to stay. Decided to hang on to see what the next disaster was. "...I guess that's up to you, bab-- Peter." He began to turn but decided he didn't want to see Pet's face and ended up gazing at the wall. "Something about coming back, about being different...I don't know, it's fucking me up. I don't know what I want or who I am and I can't relax at all." Without any of the chemical reliefs he'd grown so used to over the years, Adam was struggling to manage the hundreds of impulses, memories, ideas, that cropped up in his head over and over. "I can't promise this isn't gonna happen again and I do love you but I can't-- I'm scared to stay with you--" It wasn't fair to drag Pet down with him on this breakdown, especially as he seemed to be adjusting to life again pretty well. "...I think you're better off without me. We..could maybe still hang out, I'd like that, but...I dunno if you're gonna want to be stuck with me. I'm totally fucked in the head right now." But I am just a broken machine And I do things that I don't really mean