you're trying not to tell him you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling
”No, it’s...” How does he explain it? How can he explain it? ”You’re the hammer.” The pacing has stopped, but all that energy has to go somewhere, shaking out through his hands, in the quick glances towards the sky. ”You’re the hammer, and I... and you... it’s not your fault, but you, you have to take the hammer away.” His had opens and closes over his chest, a heartbeat, a cry for help that’s answered in the exact way it shouldn’t be.
Hands grab his shoulders. Hands that should be soothing. Hands that should be grounding. Hands that burn him like a hot coal. Hands that he doesn’t even feel. The true sign of how far gone he is is how long it takes him to react, a full second passing where Nate starts to sag, starts to lean into it. And then a quiet, panicked ”Wait, I-“ drops from his lips, cut off by a choked gasp, the ascended nearly swallowing his own tongue to keep from screaming.
A handful of panicked steps pull him back, even as arms rise, forgetting the pain the moment it’s cut off but craving the touch. His foot catches something, a board, an especially soft patch of dirt, and Nate goes toppling backwards.
Everything stops when he hits the ground, senseless sounds and frantic motions giving way to silence, to stillness. Nates eyes, seeing and unseeing both, stare into the vast expanse of clouds in the sky, searching for something. Anything. A heavy drop of rain hits him, the first in a torrent, but even that doesn’t convince Nate to move. He’s not sure anything will right now.
Hands grab his shoulders. Hands that should be soothing. Hands that should be grounding. Hands that burn him like a hot coal. Hands that he doesn’t even feel. The true sign of how far gone he is is how long it takes him to react, a full second passing where Nate starts to sag, starts to lean into it. And then a quiet, panicked ”Wait, I-“ drops from his lips, cut off by a choked gasp, the ascended nearly swallowing his own tongue to keep from screaming.
A handful of panicked steps pull him back, even as arms rise, forgetting the pain the moment it’s cut off but craving the touch. His foot catches something, a board, an especially soft patch of dirt, and Nate goes toppling backwards.
Everything stops when he hits the ground, senseless sounds and frantic motions giving way to silence, to stillness. Nates eyes, seeing and unseeing both, stare into the vast expanse of clouds in the sky, searching for something. Anything. A heavy drop of rain hits him, the first in a torrent, but even that doesn’t convince Nate to move. He’s not sure anything will right now.
& you're trembling and he reaches over
and touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist
NATE
