HOTARU
It’s a temporary distraction. Laughter, exploration, indulgence. The memories of losing Kiada at least overshadow the ones that remind her of losing Sunjata. In some ways, the older pain is easier, a tangled bit of twine that she can actually unravel in comparison to the hopeless knot that is her ended relationship. The fact that one end of that rope still trails outward is not something she has forgotten either. Simply another thing to try and forget.
Hotaru should know by now however that Caido does not allow her inhabitants to hide away from painful things. In fact it seems to actively encourage anything that drives the knife deeper. So when a throat is cleared Hotaru shouldn’t be surprised to turn her head and see Nate stepping closer to the water’s edge, Pemota sailing overhead towards Atlas who clacks his horn cheerily against hers, clearly content to immediately disengage from the two (well, one) humans in their midst. A clear sign that he will not help Hotaru in this particular endeavor. Bastard.
It’s not that her heart doesn’t leap instinctively when she sees him. The air in her lungs still escapes on a soft exhale as Hotaru gazes upon his face. She still has the immediate sensation of warmth that floods her veins, the desire to be near him, to touch and center herself in his field of gravity. He still has a sway over her that she can’t ignore, much less pretend doesn’t exist.
It’s not that she doesn’t love him. It’s that she knows what’s coming, and she can’t afford to indulge in that love for him, lest she end up sharpening the blade that she knows is going to pierce her heart.
Still, just as she had laid her lips upon Sunjata’s one last time after burning the bridge between them, Hotaru is a weak woman when it comes to her heart. As such she swims closer all the same. Lets her lips curl in a smile, expression warm and tender in a way only he is privy to now. “A handsome man coming to my rescue,” she calls back over the distant roar of the water at the far end of the basin. Coming closer until she is standing in the shallows, hot air hitting her bared skin and drying her quickly, Hotaru hesitates before moving any further. Already she is gone from the house in Torchline. Her visits to Halo now flipping to become visits to Torchline instead as she wraps up her affairs. There’s no way he hasn’t noticed her dwindling time spent there. Hotaru wonders if Sunjata had even bothered to tell Nate what she had done. Part of her - bitter and jaded - assumes he hadn’t, because the impact would be close to nothing. The other part - desperately hopeful in the face of all other evidence - quietly prays that Nate has come for her now specifically because he found out.
That perhaps, impossibly, he has chosen her.
It would probably be the first time in her life that that ever happened. As such, the strength of history alone has her hands crushing that particular notion into glass fragments. They cut and burn going down, but she swallows them all the same. Hope is the elixir of fools and chosen ones. Hotaru will not let herself be the former, and she is certainly not the latter.
“Care to come in?” Perhaps for a moment she can immerse herself in the illusion of his love. Pretend they have nothing to talk about. Maybe then Hotaru can fool herself into thinking she won’t have to tear out the roots of her heart that remain from where she’d razed the rest to the ground with Sunjata. But if he denies her, she knows she won’t let the disappointment show. Even with them, she is too well-defended to let them see her pain.
Hotaru should know by now however that Caido does not allow her inhabitants to hide away from painful things. In fact it seems to actively encourage anything that drives the knife deeper. So when a throat is cleared Hotaru shouldn’t be surprised to turn her head and see Nate stepping closer to the water’s edge, Pemota sailing overhead towards Atlas who clacks his horn cheerily against hers, clearly content to immediately disengage from the two (well, one) humans in their midst. A clear sign that he will not help Hotaru in this particular endeavor. Bastard.
It’s not that her heart doesn’t leap instinctively when she sees him. The air in her lungs still escapes on a soft exhale as Hotaru gazes upon his face. She still has the immediate sensation of warmth that floods her veins, the desire to be near him, to touch and center herself in his field of gravity. He still has a sway over her that she can’t ignore, much less pretend doesn’t exist.
It’s not that she doesn’t love him. It’s that she knows what’s coming, and she can’t afford to indulge in that love for him, lest she end up sharpening the blade that she knows is going to pierce her heart.
Still, just as she had laid her lips upon Sunjata’s one last time after burning the bridge between them, Hotaru is a weak woman when it comes to her heart. As such she swims closer all the same. Lets her lips curl in a smile, expression warm and tender in a way only he is privy to now. “A handsome man coming to my rescue,” she calls back over the distant roar of the water at the far end of the basin. Coming closer until she is standing in the shallows, hot air hitting her bared skin and drying her quickly, Hotaru hesitates before moving any further. Already she is gone from the house in Torchline. Her visits to Halo now flipping to become visits to Torchline instead as she wraps up her affairs. There’s no way he hasn’t noticed her dwindling time spent there. Hotaru wonders if Sunjata had even bothered to tell Nate what she had done. Part of her - bitter and jaded - assumes he hadn’t, because the impact would be close to nothing. The other part - desperately hopeful in the face of all other evidence - quietly prays that Nate has come for her now specifically because he found out.
That perhaps, impossibly, he has chosen her.
It would probably be the first time in her life that that ever happened. As such, the strength of history alone has her hands crushing that particular notion into glass fragments. They cut and burn going down, but she swallows them all the same. Hope is the elixir of fools and chosen ones. Hotaru will not let herself be the former, and she is certainly not the latter.
“Care to come in?” Perhaps for a moment she can immerse herself in the illusion of his love. Pretend they have nothing to talk about. Maybe then Hotaru can fool herself into thinking she won’t have to tear out the roots of her heart that remain from where she’d razed the rest to the ground with Sunjata. But if he denies her, she knows she won’t let the disappointment show. Even with them, she is too well-defended to let them see her pain.
Pull you in, but don't you get too close
Love you now, but not tomorrow
Love you now, but not tomorrow
