awareness is the enemy of sanity
In one breath Cian speaks of not allowing the past to tarnish the present, but when he doesn't take the report - the thing it was all for - short of slapping Finn across the face, there is little more that might have stung the Spyglass in that moment. And so his hand lowers, the folder still clasped between fingers that are very cold. For a moment he can feel a sob try to scratch its way up the back of his throat, his eyes blur--
But Finn blinks quickly and he swallows hard, glancing up to see the Eye strolling ever so casually across the room to his merry fire and his drinks of choice. Finn doesn't follow, even though common sense tells him that he should. Rooted to the spot, he can barely turn towards the fireplace, let alone look at Cian. And the offer, when it comes, threatens to choke him on the next inhale he takes.
What does he need? A time machine would be a good start. He needs to go back in time before this happened, when he was starting to heal after years of effort. He needs to hand in his glasses and his compass and his ring. He needs a little music shop in the Pacifist Plaza, with a speakeasy attached. He needs a warm bed and the smell of hot chocolate and a woman he can't bear to touch right now in his arms.
Of course, Finn says none of this.
"At the risk of offending you, there is nothing I need which I require from you," he says softly. "I need no more strings added to my marionette. Merely the ability to continue doing my job will suffice."
But Finn blinks quickly and he swallows hard, glancing up to see the Eye strolling ever so casually across the room to his merry fire and his drinks of choice. Finn doesn't follow, even though common sense tells him that he should. Rooted to the spot, he can barely turn towards the fireplace, let alone look at Cian. And the offer, when it comes, threatens to choke him on the next inhale he takes.
What does he need? A time machine would be a good start. He needs to go back in time before this happened, when he was starting to heal after years of effort. He needs to hand in his glasses and his compass and his ring. He needs a little music shop in the Pacifist Plaza, with a speakeasy attached. He needs a warm bed and the smell of hot chocolate and a woman he can't bear to touch right now in his arms.
Of course, Finn says none of this.
"At the risk of offending you, there is nothing I need which I require from you," he says softly. "I need no more strings added to my marionette. Merely the ability to continue doing my job will suffice."
for once you hear the screaming
it never stops
FINN
