Maeve
She'd rather not be crying about this at all. Of all the things Maeve wants, that's pretty high on the fucking list right now. She hates herself for it. Hates that she got so involved. Hates that Sunjata was the one who got at her heart before Locke did. She's paying for it now and Maeve will happily pay the price if it means she doesn't have these feelings for him anymore. All she wants is to be in this with Locke and she's struggling to even give him that. "Okay.. I will." Maeve agrees quietly, voice barely audible over the waves.
A sigh pushes past her lips and she nods, "I know. I just didn't want you to overthink things. I- I feel like you keep thinking you're going to do something to mess it up when in reality it's me who is messing this up." Her words aren't sharp or bitter. Just honest. Maeve forces her eyes open, looking out at the waves as her emotions churn violently inside her, not matching the calm before them. It's not lost on her what's happening right now or how unfair it is to him. How fucking selfish she's being trying to hang on to Locke while crying about Sunjata.
"I should have asked to stay with you from the beginning. I shouldn't have ever gone there. I should have just let it all go when I left for Stormbreak in the first place and I tried to, Locke. I really did. Especially once I came to talk to you and I'm trying to do that now." Her words slur a bit now that the alcohol is really kicking in, sloshing in her otherwise empty belly along with the dread that's sinking there. She's going to lose him today. She feels it in her bones. Serves her fucking right.
It feels inevitable when he draws away from her, taking the warmth of his embrace and leaving her hollow inside. New tears well up in her eyes and they aren't for Sunjata or even herself. They're for Locke and it feels like her heart is breaking again. "Yeah... Guess you're right. You don't know and maybe if you did you wouldn't be here. I had feelings for him. I wish I didn't. Wish I wasn't involved even if I did it to help. I wish that it didn't take you leaving and things that happened with him to push you and I together, but it did and I'm- I'm losing that too." A bitter laugh bubbles up in her throat and she almost chokes on it. She's not even sure what she's saying at this point, but the words are coming just as quickly as the tears slipping down her cheeks.
"I told you that you shouldn't want me, Locke... This is your sign to get the fuck out while you can. I'm not worth this." She's not worth his time or patience or kindness. She doesn't deserve any of it. Maeve doesn't deserve him. Shakily she tries to stand, wobbling dangerously as her head swims from the alcohol. She's going to make this easy for him. She'll leave. It's the least she can do.
A sigh pushes past her lips and she nods, "I know. I just didn't want you to overthink things. I- I feel like you keep thinking you're going to do something to mess it up when in reality it's me who is messing this up." Her words aren't sharp or bitter. Just honest. Maeve forces her eyes open, looking out at the waves as her emotions churn violently inside her, not matching the calm before them. It's not lost on her what's happening right now or how unfair it is to him. How fucking selfish she's being trying to hang on to Locke while crying about Sunjata.
"I should have asked to stay with you from the beginning. I shouldn't have ever gone there. I should have just let it all go when I left for Stormbreak in the first place and I tried to, Locke. I really did. Especially once I came to talk to you and I'm trying to do that now." Her words slur a bit now that the alcohol is really kicking in, sloshing in her otherwise empty belly along with the dread that's sinking there. She's going to lose him today. She feels it in her bones. Serves her fucking right.
It feels inevitable when he draws away from her, taking the warmth of his embrace and leaving her hollow inside. New tears well up in her eyes and they aren't for Sunjata or even herself. They're for Locke and it feels like her heart is breaking again. "Yeah... Guess you're right. You don't know and maybe if you did you wouldn't be here. I had feelings for him. I wish I didn't. Wish I wasn't involved even if I did it to help. I wish that it didn't take you leaving and things that happened with him to push you and I together, but it did and I'm- I'm losing that too." A bitter laugh bubbles up in her throat and she almost chokes on it. She's not even sure what she's saying at this point, but the words are coming just as quickly as the tears slipping down her cheeks.
"I told you that you shouldn't want me, Locke... This is your sign to get the fuck out while you can. I'm not worth this." She's not worth his time or patience or kindness. She doesn't deserve any of it. Maeve doesn't deserve him. Shakily she tries to stand, wobbling dangerously as her head swims from the alcohol. She's going to make this easy for him. She'll leave. It's the least she can do.
I'm undone about to burst at my seams
'Cause I am picturing you beside me
So let me be everything that you need
'Cause I am picturing you beside me
So let me be everything that you need
