Aurelia
over the riots
above all the noise
above all the noise
For everything she'd tried to change within herself, for all the pain she wanted to leave behind, it all had come flooding back and she's not even sure that she resurrected a wall to keep it at bay. Did she really want to be different, or was it just something she said to make herself feel better? Was she instead still battling the ghosts of her past, things she had thought she was getting over?
I'm a failure. The thought keeps pushing, wants to be let out, wants to be heard, the weight of it understood and felt. His eyes on her, his open arms, it's just enough pressure to make her crack. Yet she's rooted to the spot, staring up at him. Her eyes glisten and brim with tears. There's a pain building within her mouth that makes it difficult to speak. Her jaw rolls to try to release the tension and her voice finds its way into the hollow space between them. It's pained all the more by it.
"I'm sorry-" sorry that she can't be what she's promised, can't be what he needs or wants. Her breath comes in shallow waves that heave through her lungs and trying to fight it only makes it worse. "I'm a fuckup. I'm not any different than I was before," she shakes her head with the bitter truth, "I don't know if I can be, especially after this."
Her lips press shut and that aching pain returns. She can feel the veins in her neck strain to contain her anguish. "I tried... but I'm still sofuckingangry, Milo, and I-" she sucks in a shaking breath and, with the release, a silent sob tremors through her in spite of the thread of strength she tries to cling to. She fails at that, too. "No matter what I choose, it's always wrong."
I'm a failure. The thought keeps pushing, wants to be let out, wants to be heard, the weight of it understood and felt. His eyes on her, his open arms, it's just enough pressure to make her crack. Yet she's rooted to the spot, staring up at him. Her eyes glisten and brim with tears. There's a pain building within her mouth that makes it difficult to speak. Her jaw rolls to try to release the tension and her voice finds its way into the hollow space between them. It's pained all the more by it.
"I'm sorry-" sorry that she can't be what she's promised, can't be what he needs or wants. Her breath comes in shallow waves that heave through her lungs and trying to fight it only makes it worse. "I'm a fuckup. I'm not any different than I was before," she shakes her head with the bitter truth, "I don't know if I can be, especially after this."
Her lips press shut and that aching pain returns. She can feel the veins in her neck strain to contain her anguish. "I tried... but I'm still sofuckingangry, Milo, and I-" she sucks in a shaking breath and, with the release, a silent sob tremors through her in spite of the thread of strength she tries to cling to. She fails at that, too. "No matter what I choose, it's always wrong."
through all the worry
i still hear your voice
i still hear your voice
