but the thing is, even if i could go back, i wouldn't belong there anymore
She sighs. "I know," she murmurs tiredly. But the point wasn't the importance of it; it was the fact that it didn't or couldn't last. Dwelling on that is difficult for her even now, even though it seems as if it's a conversation that's been sorely needed.
Aurelia is not be able to fully relate to the instinct of always trying to help instead of harm, and so she can't pretend to be empathetic to this. She can understand it, of course, but.. that only goes so far. Her instincts have been molded and sharpened to the edge of a blade or, most recently in her life, emblazoned to the bite of a flame. The world is not black and white, things are never undeniably 'good' nor 'evil' when these things are purely subjective. Feeling that so intimately, it's hard for Aurelia to try and think solely one way or another.
Sometimes the only way to help is to harm, and she's willing to do that if no one else is.
But she knows, too, that Maeve doesn't understand that, and so she tries to explain her side too, "I don't do things thinking that 'I want to harm instead of help'. I don't want to be a killer... you know that," her words are somber, as if it is a desire that can't be achieved. "I still want to protect you, but it's not just you. It's all of Torchline. I consider this place my home and I won't let anyone get away with... trying to burn it down, any part of it, for whatever reason," she swallows as she feels a slight tremor begin to build into her voice, though she does go on to admit, "but... it means a lot to know that you can see me for more than my darkest moments. I- I've only ever tried to protect you, Maeve. Even if that means from myself. Even if you don't always understand it..."
Aurelia is not be able to fully relate to the instinct of always trying to help instead of harm, and so she can't pretend to be empathetic to this. She can understand it, of course, but.. that only goes so far. Her instincts have been molded and sharpened to the edge of a blade or, most recently in her life, emblazoned to the bite of a flame. The world is not black and white, things are never undeniably 'good' nor 'evil' when these things are purely subjective. Feeling that so intimately, it's hard for Aurelia to try and think solely one way or another.
Sometimes the only way to help is to harm, and she's willing to do that if no one else is.
But she knows, too, that Maeve doesn't understand that, and so she tries to explain her side too, "I don't do things thinking that 'I want to harm instead of help'. I don't want to be a killer... you know that," her words are somber, as if it is a desire that can't be achieved. "I still want to protect you, but it's not just you. It's all of Torchline. I consider this place my home and I won't let anyone get away with... trying to burn it down, any part of it, for whatever reason," she swallows as she feels a slight tremor begin to build into her voice, though she does go on to admit, "but... it means a lot to know that you can see me for more than my darkest moments. I- I've only ever tried to protect you, Maeve. Even if that means from myself. Even if you don't always understand it..."
Aurelia
