my held breath fills the room with blood
hurting in ways I can't describe
“I told him that I expected nothing of him. I wanted him to know that, before anything else. But he wants to be involved in the child’s life as their father.” A good thing, in any other circumstance. “I told him I was scared of how you, Ronin, and Mateo would take it. How it would change your family. But he seemed to trust Ronin’s response on the matter, and I can’t do any more than I have. Not without terminating the pregnancy entirely.” The thought makes her ill, this far along, but she won’t hide the reality of these tangled threads from Seren when one of those threads is her own.
It’s no surprise Sunjata had been held in such lofty esteem if this was the beginning Seren had with him. Nate, however…Hotaru frowns. It’s somewhat unlike the man she knew to have said such things. Then again, nearly a season has passed, and she can’t say she knows him anymore. Not after everything.
“Everyone is feeling the pressure of choosing a side,” she agrees quietly, though in no way excusing his actions. “As am I.” Which leads to Seren’s question. Hotaru eyes her quietly for a moment, wondering how much she can trust the girl with realistically. Her logic has been terribly clouded lately with emotions and attachments, and she can’t afford that with this.
“Morgan is turning Halo into more and more of an Ascended-supporting land. Safrin told Deimos all would be forgiven for the Advocates fire if he ensured that Halo became devoted to the Old Gods again. Do you know what that means?” Not wanting to infantilize the girl, but reluctant to jump straight to talk of treason. “But if we do that, it’s only the first step. I wonder if repelling Ascended - even non-fatally - like Stormbreak’s borders would be the right choice. You’ve been there, and I can’t visit, so I wanted your input.” Particularly because Safrin had been the one to give the command.
It’s no surprise Sunjata had been held in such lofty esteem if this was the beginning Seren had with him. Nate, however…Hotaru frowns. It’s somewhat unlike the man she knew to have said such things. Then again, nearly a season has passed, and she can’t say she knows him anymore. Not after everything.
“Everyone is feeling the pressure of choosing a side,” she agrees quietly, though in no way excusing his actions. “As am I.” Which leads to Seren’s question. Hotaru eyes her quietly for a moment, wondering how much she can trust the girl with realistically. Her logic has been terribly clouded lately with emotions and attachments, and she can’t afford that with this.
“Morgan is turning Halo into more and more of an Ascended-supporting land. Safrin told Deimos all would be forgiven for the Advocates fire if he ensured that Halo became devoted to the Old Gods again. Do you know what that means?” Not wanting to infantilize the girl, but reluctant to jump straight to talk of treason. “But if we do that, it’s only the first step. I wonder if repelling Ascended - even non-fatally - like Stormbreak’s borders would be the right choice. You’ve been there, and I can’t visit, so I wanted your input.” Particularly because Safrin had been the one to give the command.
my heart bends and breaks
so many, many times
HOTARU
